All That Love....

Tell me....would you allow your spouse or partner to have a very close...closer than close....relationship with someone of the opposite sex?

You know...so close that he never ever tells you what's been going on.
They're so close that you can't be blamed for thinking they've had sex.
And then, you start suspecting that they've had sex. That's for sure.
And then you imagine that they really must have had sex.

Wonky imagination. Damn!

Your Prince Charming andTell Tale Signs...

I was told the other day that if I were looking for my Prince Charming, then I should be attentive and detect tell tale signs of his hidden characters or personality.
You know, some things will not be known to you until you get to know him better by which time it is too late. Or maybe not.

It seems, according to an expert whose name I forget --- one of the things you need to observe is how the man of your dreams talk to a third person.

It's like this. When he talks to, say, a waiter or waitress...is he curt, rude and obnoxious to
that person?
Now, if he is, then, chances are he will be that way to you.
Did you know that?

I've been thinking.
Experts don't make sweeping generalisations. And I reckon, this expert whose name I forget is a well-known expert in the science of behaviour and love.
She knows what she's talking about.

I've been reflecting.
It does seem to hold a lot of water.
Take Antonio, as a case in point.

He has never been mean to me, in the way he speaks to me. He is always polite to waiters, jaga kereta boys....you know..

When waiters are slow or take the wrong orders, he never gets irritated. He is usually so calm and composed and patient.

So, girls....watch and observe when you think you've got your Prince Charming. He may turn out to be an ugly old toad...

The Danger of Loving....

I don't watch Hindi films. I have nothing against them and I am not deriding them.
In fact, I try to avoid watching them because they are addictive and incredibly magnetic.
You see, Hindi films bring you to a subliminal level where you make-believe that you are living in a planet inhabited by beautiful people.
The combination of ingredients in Hindi movies is lethal, lending to the characteristc high drama -- good-looking screen heroes/heroines, tear-jerking-heart-wrenching plot with yoyo climaxes and several sub-plots, composition of rich and poor/wealth and poverty elements, mesmerising music plus dancing, and amazing cinematography bordering on fantasy.
Now, you see what I mean?

Anyway, while visiting my friend the other day, the TV was on and guess what? A Hindi movie was playing.
I shuddered.
I wanted to look away. To look the other way.
But, as you and I know, Hindi movies are potent in its appeal. And at that point of time, I must admit, I was willing to be devoured.

Oooh. How could I look away. ooh... what a hunk of a hero and, ooh... what a hunk of a crook. Yummy!
And when they showed the leading lady or heroine....my heart stopped. What a beauty. So ethereal!

You see what I mean? You get hypnotised. And I always tell myself that I am never gonna go that way! You know, becoming a Hindi movie junkie.
Some of the most sane and sensible people I know have turned over, and never ever able to turn or look back.
It is crazy, I tell you.

But, I digress.
Here's what I got from a dialogue. What a gem....
A woman attending her girlfriend's wedding. And this girlfriend of hers is marrying someone she does not love. She left the love-of-her-life (a hunk of a guy, I swear) because of a stupid misunderstanding. A little misplaced and unsubstantiated mistrust ( from what I could gather...)

And she was sad on her wedding day when she realised the folly of her action.

This friend told the bride:

"You must not love anyone too much, too deeply.... that a little misunderstanding between you both can be so misconstrued to be an unforgivable act of betrayal..."

My mouth was agape.
Was that a pearl of wisdom or whaaat?
I felt as though someone had slapped or pinched me, knocked my head even.

Yeah, lady.
Too much love can really go awry.
Too much love really blinds you.

Too much, Way too much.
Pain. Ache.

Love. Love. Love....

Dang Those Selfish and Idiotic Motorists....

Here's the thing.
I am not the world's most patient driver. When you're driving in Malaysia, you either have to be very patient or you have to join the sport.
I chose to be a little of both because that's the smartest position to take.
If you're too patient, the stress will eventually take its toll on you and, trust me, people, you're gonna go down with a slump.
And if you're as crazy as the next driver, trust me here too, you're gonna go down with a crash.
So, what's it going to be?
The middle clever road.
Not easy in the beginning but once you've got the hang of it....a breeze and it will get you out of very sticky and tricky situations.
Now, I am so digressing here.

Like I said, I am not the world's best...most patient.... most considerate.... driver. Whatever.
So excuse me if I tell you here that I do hate it when people break the traffic signages and directions because they just want to and because they can and because they are so *#@*&** inconsiderate.

Now, take Ikea/Ikano centre.
We all like to go to Ikea for the friendly place that it is. The entire place is conducive. The kids love it too!
People-friendly, I always say.
And the parking areas are great. Wide and open.

And there are clear "arrows" to make life all that more convenient for motorists -- that's you and I -- looking for parking bays.

There are lanes for you to enter and exit. Clear signs to guide you.

And unless you are an imbecile, an illiterate neanderthal or a wretched inconsiderate nimcompoop, you would unhesitantly go your own merry way so you could get that vacant spot.

There is a reason for all the arrows and signs. Do you want to know?
So that we all won't get jammed up in a chaotic chock-a-block in the parking area. That's why.

Can you imagine if everyone decide to enter and exit any which way they want?

Of course, if it is very quiet morning with hardly any motorcars in sight, you may be tempted to just take that short cut because nobody's around and no one's gonna get hurt. Still....

I just wish the security guards At IKEA/IKANO would be more tough. I know one day, someone's gonna get hurt.

And another thing. Don't we love the Ikea Restaurant? Reminds you of a typical self-service restaurant in Sweden or even, Switzerland, huh?
Besides, the prices are not bad, for the offerings on the menu. Right?
And they tell you why they can give you good proices of great food.
Right?
Like, they request that you stash away YOUR OWN TRAY!
People.... why is it that when you overseas, you can stash away your own tray, follow the traffic obediently? Blah blah blah...
And when you are in YOUR OWN COUNTRY, you screw up.

I have watched and I have seen well-dressed and well-heeled Malaysians at the Ikea Restaurant, leaving their trays on the table. Just like that. Without a care.

And, let's not get started at McDonalds, Burger King, A&W...

Oh... you didn't know that you are supposed to dump the remains into the bin and stash the tray away?

Oh...if you did that, there won't be menial jobs for Malaysian school-leavers?
Give me a break, will you?

You know, if we all do our part, maybe we don't have to depend of foreign labour.

Anyway, all I can say is -- typical of Malaysians! And they complain about other Malaysians being "so Malaysian, break rules, so inconsiderate and all that..."

Bah!

Dato Lato Mato Bato.....

What does it take for one to be made a Dato in this country?
I'm sorry I cannot answer my own question because I am not qualified to do so but if I were to make my own substantiated assessment, I'd say either nothing OR a lot of dough.
I'm sorry for sounding so pathetically cynical, accusing even, but someone I know had just been made a Dato.
It was so utterly shocking. My gardener might as well be a recipient!
What had this someone done to EARN him a datoship?
So, that's why I'm saying that a lot of dough can get you a state award because I am shamelessly very suspicious of the circumstances leading to his receiving the title and award.
Highly suspicious.

It has become a brunt of all jokes, this datoship awards.

I thought one had to have contributed SOMETHING to the state (if it was from the Sultan) or the country (if it was from the Agong). I mean, that's my understanding since time immemorial.
I know that civil servants and military or armed forces personnel in key senior positions will eventually be awarded datoship.
Moving along the nation's progress, business tycoons had been nominated to receive awards and titles.
I suppose this was inevitable as some of them have helped develop the country.
And then you have "outstanding" sportsmen and women being made Dato.
I think we can win some points in arguing that some of them were undeserving. I shan't mention names.

Then, those who successfully climbed the highest mountain, crossed the seven seas and the English Channel.
My oh my....

I find that the selection process, in recent years, to have degenerated.
The criteria seem to be careless because you get **&#@ people being made a Dato, it is so shameful.

Where is the honour? Why have they belittled the title and the award?
Young punks who have contributed zilch to the country but on the strength of their service and servitude to powerful politicians are getting to be called Dato.

And I haven't even touched on the crooks and the crooks!

Boy am I glad YOU are not a Dato! You'll find yourself in BAD company.....

Call Him Squirrel

Heavens! It's been more than a month since I last posted anything in this blog. If you must know I have been away on holiday. A luxurious holiday where the day is always bright and beautiful - not necessarily hot. Wish you were here!
I was, of course, with Antonio. If you don't know, Antonio is the love of my bittersweet life.
We've been together oh-so-long. There's the bitter, and there's the sweet. Nver in that order, of course.
So, there we were in one of the most romantic places in the world. And we would be crazy not to have a great time (together) at a great place.
And he behaved. Oh! What am I saying. Of course, he would.
I returned home a few days ago.
Got over my jetlag. Pampered myself at a spa.
After that, called up a couple of girlfriends for an update of everybody's life.

One of the people I called up was my pal, Selena who is a vivacious, attractive single mother, involved with a married man who is a father of three.
How stupid is she?
You know, she is not stupid at all. She is intelligent. But well, yes, so she is so stupid to be involved with this SOB for the past 10 years.
Yet, when she talks about him, she makes him sound like some hunk who was made-in-heaven.

Selena could and can have anyone she wants. But she is so stupid that she has been so stupidly faithful to this SOB.
Oh. I told her so. I told her to leave the SOB who's been nothing but a pain to her.

No. She doesn't think so at all. The SOB whom we shall call Romeo, may seem to be a pain to her in my eyes but he isn't at all, she avers.
She, Selena, is the love of Romeo's life.
Like hell, she is.
So why is he still married, eh?

Anyway, a quick update on Selena and she tells me that she does not trust Romeo.

"You're kidding, right? You trust that bastard all this while even though he is still f----ing married and had another child with his wife while declaring his undying love for you.
You need to have your head and heart examined, girl!" I said to Selena, over the phone the other day.

Well, what happened was, that SOB Romeo has been doing little "innocent" things behind her back.
God! Doesn't that sound familiar.
They're not innocent.
Well, not as bad as when she found about his little fling with this car salesgirl. Exchanging little come-on text messages and emails.
She saw those text messages and emails which were forwarded by this girl to another person whom Selena knows.
I told her to leave him. Much like what I was told when Antonio had his little escapades.

Actually, SOB Romeo, I found out, is a squirrel.
Selena tells me there is a Malay saying about how nobody can be that smart to get away with deception and lies.
Literally, it says that no matter how smart a squirrel is in jumping and climbing, that animal will eventually fall down to earth.

Hah. Not so clever, after all, you little cheating squirrel.

So, is Selena leaving that SOB of a squirrel?
"Oh...maybe. He may not be worth my love, you know.."
Now, you're talking, sista! Now you're talking.

Can You Trust Your Best Friend...With Your Husband?

Hmmm. Here's a tough one. I know I'm not naive. But sometimes you just wanna believe. You just wanna believe that bad things don't happen. That shit don't happen. That best friends don't betray one another like having an affair with the other's husband or lover or whatever!
I know they do. I've seen it and I don't like it. I think when your best friend has an affair with your husband (or whatever), you have a damn good reason to kill her.
Because, there is a clear line there which forbids such a thing.
However, the reality is that when people fall in love, they just fall in love. And it can be with your husband.
No, no.... my best friend is not getting laid by Anthonio. No no, anthonio aint humping her.
Come to think of it, I don't have a best friend. Should I thank God for that? Such small mercies...
It's just that I recently met an old friend at a party. Lost touch with her. It's been some 30 years. Didn't know she was divorced. So, didn't know she remarried.
Now get this... I've been rambling about best GIRL friends, right?
Hmmm... my old friend dumped her husband and married HIS best friend.
For a good 20 seconds, I stood there with my jaw dropped six feet to the ground.
Sorry, guys. I should have made it clear from the start. But hey, I am as shocked as you.
You are shocked, aren't you?
But, you know what, that kept me thinking. And thinking..

Anyway, , at least I know that it is not always a man's world.

Bring Back My Safe World

I weep for our kids today as I have been for little Nurin Jazlin who died in the hands of a maniac. A beast. Maybe more.
Her death was senseless.
And the beast is still out there.

There used to be a time when kids could walk around their neighbourhood without fear of being abducted. Without fear.
Today, the fear is tangible.

Therefore, I weep.

Lord, bring back my safe world.

Get More By Doing Less

You know, once in a while you read something about keeping fit that makes you think that "it makes perfect sense".
You've been getting that heavy dose of advice on how much exercise to do that will break down that darn fat in you body and the protein and good carbs to consume to keep that darn fat away that a simple sensible advice on how to be fit and healthy without any hint of torture, sounds so so heaven-sent! I swear.

The fact is I do not subscribe to any exercise or diet regime.
Over the years, I have developed my own system, as it were. Because I know my body and myself.
Oh. That doesn't mean that I dismiss all that has been written about the subject. It's from reading the expert views that I decided that I should modify and adopt my own.

First I don't diet. Never have and never will.
I just don't overdo eating. And I don't over-exercise either. I do a lot of walking, a little aerobics, pilates, cycling and swimming.

Ok. So I shan't ramble. Just read Debbie Rocker's piece which I have highlighted.
She 's very sane and sensible.

"Strive for Paradise. A small nook within its bliss is better than the whole world ..." --The Prophet Muhammad (SAW), as reported by Abu Hurairah

Today is the first day of the holy month of Ramadhan when Muslims fast from dawn to dusk and refrain from doing things that could spoil their "ibadah".

I wish my Muslim friends a holy and happy Ramadhan!

Rising Early Aint Good No More!

That's what they tell me now!
So much for the age-old belief that rising early is good for the health. Apparently, it's not good for the heart.
A new study tells us just that.
What about that adage: "The early bird catches the worm"? It still holds true, literally, I suppose.
You'd still catch your worm but you'd be quicker on the road to hypertension.

What other ancient health remedy or panacea will they find to be bad next?

Here's the story.
TOKYO (AFP) - Generations have praised the wisdom of getting up early in the morning, but a Japanese study says early-risers are actually at a higher risk of developing heart problems.
The study, conducted by researchers from several universities and hospitals in the western Japanese city of Kyoto, revealed a link between wake-up times and a person's cardiovascular condition.
"Rising early to go to work or exercise might not be beneficial to health, but rather a risk for vascular diseases," said an abstract of the study.
The study, covering 3,017 healthy adults aged between 23 through 90, found that early risers had a greater risk of heart conditions including hypertension and of having strokes.
However, the study also noted that early risers were usually older.
The study is being presented this week at the World Congress of the World Federation of Sleep Research and Sleep Medicine Societies, being held in Cairns, Australia.
A separate study released in June by researchers at the University of Pennsylvania
found that chronic sleep deprivation adds stress to the heart, putting a person at greater risk of cardiovascular disease and death.

Showing Off the Big Belly

Ok. So I'm not that young. But after seeing some pregnant young women these past weeks, I am convinced I'm from a distant era, a distant time.
I am so out of whack with the latest trend. Fashion for expectant mothers, to be exact.
What is it with young pregnant mums that they have to wear the tightest clothes that hug their belly and the shortest blouse so that they can show off their belly.
I think being pregnant is the most wonderful feeling ever. Most women are over the moon and want to share their feeling.
But, really, you don't have to be wearing the shortest and tightest t-shirt to show of that big belly -- belly button and all.
Why oh why?
Whatever for?
I can only guess why these young women are doing it.
Because it is trendy?
Because Demi Moore showed all of hers on the cover of Vogue aeons ago?

Well. I have something to say about being trendy....it makes you a mere follower. Sometimes, so blind. Very blind.

Frankly?
I don't think these pregnant women should be showing their belly.
I think, without showing off too much, the world can tell that they are pregnant. Unless, of course, they worry that people may think that there is something else inside.

It's not about being old-fashioned. Or dated.

Oh well.
Just my opinion.

(Photo is of a pregnant woman at the beach. She probably has an excuse. Even then...)

Endangered....

These chimpanzees are from a zoo in Sierra Leone where the authorities are ordering people taming chimpanzees in their homes as pets to give them up as part of a drive to save the endangered primates.
Yes...endangered. Endangered primates. Endangered chimpanzees. Endangered monkeys.
Endangered.
(Picture by AFP taken on Wednesday August 15 2007).

Love Thy Country!

I do, I do and I do.
That's why I am so pissed.
I'm looking around me and I am so desperately disillusioned at what I see and what I know.
At first, I thought it was just plain gossip and rumour-mongering. Gradually, I realised that there is a lot of truth in all those things they have been saying about how badly the country is being run.
I mean screw-ups are not anyone's figment of imagination.
Take a look at a certain individual who has got to be so powerful by just being married to the PM's daughter.
I remember how people were so upset when it was learnt that the three sons of Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad (then Prime Minister) were involved in business.
How the foreign media had a field day whacking Dr Mahathir.
I think the campaign against Dr Mahathir was so blistering that it did affect his popularity.
Fastforward today -- I think it is so unbelievable and so unacceptable that this person who is married to the PM's daughter is where he is today.
I read the Sunday Star article by Joceline Tan and I almost threw up. Actually, a bit of my breakfast got, er, barfed.
What a load of crock and ass-licking crap J Tan's article was.
Umno Youth is made up of ball-lickers and lily-livered cowards whose interest is money and position so that they can make more money and gain higher position.
Umno cannot be representative of the Malays anymore.
How can anyone like what-his-name-and-face get himself in such a powerful position?
What does it tell our young Malaysians?
You can get to be so powerful in this country by marrying a daughter of the Prime Minister.
But the Prime Minister has got to be like the one we have.
So, let's all be making sure that we get Prime Ministers like that so that our sons need not contribute anything to the country and still get to gain those millions and occupy those important seats.

It tells us that it is okay to be greedy. It is okay if you are actually worthless. You can still be a leader.
And pray tell me, why the foreign media is not getting at this administration's case?
If you ask me there are so many questions to ask, so many things to write.

Pity.... we deserve the leader we choose!

Power and Purpose

"Wise people delay eating. Devout people do not satisfy their appetite. Hermits take only enough to sustain life. The young eat until the dishes are taken away. The old eat till they sweat.
A wise person who engages in controversy with fools, should not expect to be treated with honour. And if a fool should overpower a sage with eloquence, no one should be surprised: a common stone can break a jewel.
Do not be surprised that the dissolute do not heed the words of the devout; the music of a lute is drowned by the beat of a drum.
A natural talent without training is pitiable: training without a natural talent is wasted. A wise person is like a tray at a pharmacist - in silence it manifests its own merits. An ignorant person is like the drum of a warrior - loud and useless.
Friendship takes many years to establish: so do not fall out with a friend over a single disagreement.
Reason is captive in the hands of passion - just as a weak man is captive in the hands of an artful woman.
Purpose without power is mere weakness and deception: power without purpose is emptiness and insanity." - Sadi: Gulistan 8

Tyranny

"Of all the tyrannies on humankind The worst is that which persecutes the mind" -- John Dryden.

I remember how Iraq's Saddam Hussein was hated. How Indonesia's Suharto was hated.
Their children's shenanigans did not help.
Made it worse for them.
Their children were equally hated.
And their people prayed for their leaders' fall. And that of their leaders' children.
And when they fell, the people rejoiced.

Love and Lovers

"The lover is a monotheist who knows that other people worship different gods but cannot himself imagine that there could be other gods" - Theodore Reik : "Of Love and Lust".

Vuitton's Gorbachev

Now, if Louis Vuitton can have former Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev as the French luxury label's new face, I don't see why they cannot have our very own Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad.
I'd really like to see that happening!
It goes to show that nothing is impossible, Yeah, I always believe that.
I need to just look at home, here in Malaysia.
You think it's damn impossible for some people to be where they are, high-flying and all, when you and I know very well that they are really good-for-nothing and they're there not by the grace of God but by the stupidity of people in power. There, I've said it.
Now, read about the new face of LV. Click here!

Made In China

In those days, China-made goods were usually not of good quality. It's not that I am prejudiced but more often than not, such products ranging from toys to kitchenware -- most anything and everything -- were really of inferior, sometimes sub-standard quality.
We would even be worried about foodstuff that came out of China, wondering what they contained because China was not known to be strict in enforcing laws covering food production.
But, they were cheap.
After the fall of communism, China had to come to grips with, confront and then embrace capitalism, laissez faire and the open market.
The journey was slow, a little heady, but steady. Everyone braced themselves for the new emerging China.
Now, China is the new economic power. Everyone wants to have a go at dancing with her.
Everyone wants to have a piece of China.
She seemed to be handling all this popularity pretty well, convincing the once-powerful west that she's made the cut.
Perhaps, too weary to sustain the "high', she is showing signs of reverting to her bad old ways.
Could it be the West is bad-pressing her, fearing her growing strength, and fighting back by playing a little dirty?
Still, can't deny that China offers gargantuan possibilities.
And China-made goods are still cheap.
But today, things are not going too smoothly for China. Products from China are not only poorly made but are found to be dangerous.
And there is proof of China's recklessness in quality control. But, was there ever in the first place?

Check out this story about Fisher-Price having to recall some one million toys because their paint contains excessive amount of lead.
These toys were made by Fisher-Price by a Chinese vendor and sold in the United States between May and August.

Read the story here.

"There's nothing worth the wear of winning
But laughter and the love of friends."


You think so? Someone said one loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.
Wow! That says a lot about the worth and value of friendship.

Have a great weekend! But don't sleep too much cos you'll miss seeing the world passing by.

Rugby's The Game, Man!

Aaah....check this out!
Rugby's really cool. I mean HOT!

Cures For a Broken Heart

"Sometimes I wish I were a little kid again; skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts." -Anonymous

Someone just broke your heart?
What are you waiting for? Go get a gun and shoot him! I swear that's sooo therapeutic.
But, oh! What if you decide to forgive him and he's already dead meat?
The regret will kill you. And the remorse will be a double dose of that.
Besides, you're not a killer.
And, yep, he aint worth all that.
But, there's an alternative. A sweet panacea.

According to David Romanelli, you should consider listening to country music and doing yoga.
He has nursed his broken heart -- I imagine many times -- with country music which seemed to work and he is a yoga expert.
So, I guess he knows what he's talking about.

Here's what he has to say:

There's very little in life that hurts as much as a broken heart. I always wished there were a guide on dealing with the pain of having loved and lost. So I'm gonna make an attempt at such a guide. Based on my many days dealing with a broken heart in what I call "the pain chamber," I'd like to share some thoughts on what's gotten me through:

First, listen to some country music.

Second, try listening to some country music.

Third, did I say country music?

Country songs cover some powerful lessons and wise teachings on handling the dark side of love. Depending on the day or the moment, any of the following tips might help...

1. Keep in mind that a broken heart is part of being human

Be wary of the person who hasn't dealt with a broken heart. No matter how strong you might be, if you're open to love, you're automatically vulnerable to pain. So don't feel bad if you’re in the pain chamber. Know that it's very normal and very much a part of being human. In "God Only Knows," Cynthia Ford sings about the unbearable pain that no amount of strength can overcome. She learns it's faith, not strength, that can get you through:

Somebody tell me if there's

any other way

I tried prayin' for strength

But it never came

So I'm praying for faith

Cuz God only knows

How hard this is for me

2. Light the fire

When dealing with heartbreak, sometimes it helps to get a little fired up! You can spend a lot of time bummed out and weeping, but at a certain point, it might help to get off your ass. Go for a run, lift some weights, scream if you must. Think Rocky Balboa meets the Karate Kid. In other words, get pumped. Check out Dierks Bentley's song "Forget About You" for inspiration:

I heard that ol' Jones song just the other day

'Bout a man who took that ol' broken heart to his grave

But I'll be damned if a memory's gonna lay me down

I might be walkin' around with a head full of air

Actin' kinda crazy but I don't care

This heart's barely beating, but I'll still be above the ground

I'll forget about you!

3. Take solace in the fact that things have a way of working out

It's hard to understand the first time your heart is broken. But over time, you come to realize that there's a certain rhyme and reason to life. As Garth Brooks sings, you may just become grateful for your "Unanswered Prayers":

She was the one that I'd wanted for all time

And each night I'd spend prayin' that God would make her mine

And if he'd only grant me this wish I wished back then

I'd never ask for anything again

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers

Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs

That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care

Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

4. Feel the pain

We can exhaust ourselves fighting the pain. Allowing yourself to feel the pain rather than resist it sometimes can be very healing.

• Trying sitting with your ankles crossed in front you.

• Let your palms face up to symbolize a state of surrender. Someone once said, "Keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world; it's the beginning of a new life."
  

I like it.

A Sad Love

�

Come, come, whoever you are.

Wonderer, worshipper, lover of leaving.

It doesn't matter.

Ours is not a caravan of despair.

Come, even if you have broken your vow

a thousand times

Come, yet again, come, come. -- Masnavi Book 1 - 599-607

You Know You're About To Get Dumped When...

Nobody likes getting dumped. I mean, like, duh! If we could, we'd like to be the one doing the dumping, right?
Seriously, breaking up is never easy and, for many, really really hard to do. But if we could have just seen the signs, seen it coming, perhaps......

So, let me help you out here.
According to break-expert Elina Furman, there are top five signs you're about to get dumped. Here's the list, according to her (and in her words).

1. Picking fights. No one is saying you have to get along 24/7. Constructive conflict can actually be good for your relationship. But if you find that your partner has become argumentative over petty issues like your clothes or choice of restaurant, that should serve as a warning sign that he/she may be looking for an excuse to bail.

2. Forgetting to call. Used to be that your phone would ring all day long with your sweetie wanting to make plans or calling just to say, "I love you." Now your significant other doesn't even call when he/she is running three hours late. It may seem obvious, but going from speed dial to a blocked number is a sure sign that your relationship may be nearing its expiration date.

3. Changing their stripes. A major change in appearance can be a sign that your partner is looking toward greener pastures. Whether they've chopped off their hair, lost 40 pounds or gone from a bold brunette to a sultry blonde, major cosmetic changes should be noted. Of course, there's nothing wrong with being a little vain, but if the change is accompanied by any of the other signs listed here, you may need to get ready to go solo.

4. Criticizing. If your sweetie isn't feeling you anymore, don't be surprised if he/she becomes less tolerant of everything, from how you brush your teeth to how you tie your shoes. Constant criticism is a telltale sign that your days as a twosome are numbered.

5. Losing sexual interest. A healthy sex life can make or break a relationship. If you find that your partner is becoming more sexually aloof, you need to get to the root of the issue. While it's natural to have less sex as you settle into a comfortable groove together, waiting weeks or months to have sexual contact is a sign that something is amiss.

Okay, has Ms Furman helped you out?
But she says not to panic just because your partner exhibits some of these behaviours.
That doesn't necessarily mean the relationship is over.
Check out for a combination of signs and not one isolated incident that foreshadows a breakup.

If you're worried that your partner is itching to get out, the most important thing you can do is sit down and discuss your issues in an honest and open manner. If you take these signs as your cue to improve communication, your relationship may just have a fighting chance.

My advice: ONLY if you think he's worth it!

Is Your Cell/Mobile/Hand Phone Your Life?

Don't lie! You never leave home without it, I know.
You can call it what you like -- cell phone, mobile phone or just plain hand phone -- but you guard it with your life, don't you?
Because without it, you might as well have lost your head.
Do you remember the early days of the mobile phone? It was a real novelty and anyone having one was, well, important or rich.
It was the humongous motorola phone. Ugly then but was quite a gadget to have.
And then the Japanese made those real handy ones for the rest of the world, and you and I could have one.
You know, of course, the mobile phone, in the early days when everyone could own one, had caused many a relationship, nay, marriage, to go bust.
Indeed. Indeed. Indeed. I am pretty sure that nothing has changed since.
We can laugh about it because it has not happened to us.
The finger on the wrong button, or the inept use of the mobile phone could trigger some of the most dramatic scenes imaginable. And ugly break-ups or divorces, for sure.
Of course, we all agree that the mobile phone was (and still is, I reckon) a great ally to have for that extra marital affair.
You know, you don't have to go looking for a public phone. Speaking of which - when was the last time you used a public phone?
The technology SMSes offer is phenomenal.
Aah -- the possibilites are endless.
Did you know that some people (you know I mean men), have more than one mobile phone because using just one is really inviting problems, and can cause hell at home. You don't want to trip, fall and get caught red-handed, if you know what I mean.
One for the office, one for the home (wifey and kiddies) and one for the lust-of-your-life, otherwise known as mistress.
You can bet that these guys with multiple mobile phones had been caught schmoozing on that little gadget by the missuses.
Okay, so why am I going on about this?
Well, I am reminded about the lunch I had with one of my girlfriends the other day.
She almost left her husband years ago when she "caught" him with a woman.
She was listening to some very intimate exchanges between him and a woman over her mobile phone.
Silly man! He had accidentally hit her number while doing goodness-knows-what, she answered the call, only to be listening to some very very hot action.
Why she did not leave him high and dry, beats me.
Must be love and that brain of hers not working.

So. Can you imagine life without your life-line? No?
Yeah....that's what I thought.
If it's any comfort, neither can I.

Lucky Date 07/07/07

Are you among the people planning important events for this first Saturday in July?
This first Saturday in July is 07/07/07 -- a lucky number.
Last year, everyone freaked out when the calendar read 06/06/06.
I am guessing that there will be a rerun of this.
So, will you be planning your wedding on 07/07/07?
Of course you are! You want that extra dose of marital luck, huh? So that's why you are among the scores of would-be bridal couples to be flocking to the altar on that auspicous day.
A little bird told me so!
Rather, a little article told me so.
For a good read, click here.

I hate to be a party pooper. But I am not a believer in lucky numbers. What's the big deal?
Oh well. To each, her own!

Introducing the Burkini

I would have probably come out with a similar design because it seems to be the most logical swimwear for Muslim women.
Australian designer Aheda Zanetti calls it a burkini - a cross between a burka and a bikini (?).
I'd probably call it La Jumdi -- La (French singular feminine for "the") and acronym for baJuManDi.
You see, I have always fretted when I see Muslim girls and women jump into a swimming pool wearing t-shirts and jogging trousers.
T-shirts and jogging trousers are the most inappropriate swimming attire for anyone.
I remember I was at a swimming pool where all the Muslim girls and women were NOT wearing proper swimwear, but were in their t-shirts and trousers, and the pool looked so murky.
I don't quite blame them. For many Muslim females, wearing swimsuits is a no-no. They feel very indecent and, of course, strictly speaking it is forbidden to be seen so exposed that way.
There is a range of swimwear -- either one piece or two pieces - with sleeves and covers the knees or right down to the lower calves.
Many Muslim girls and women wear them. Almost perfect for them.
But now, there is a better design to meet the Muslim specification.
The burkini to offer Muslim women the chance to really enjoy the sea or the swimming pool.
For Zanetti, the burkini means that Muslim women can now integrate further into Australian society.
Australia, as we all know is about the sea, sand and surf. Muslim women are so encumbered by their "jubah" and "hijab" that going to the beach is a dreadful experience.
Zanetti said that the burkini is also for anyone who wants to show some modesty while on the beach or protect themselves from the rays of the sun.
The Burkini is made from ultraviolet- and water-protected polyester. Unlike the bikini, it covers the whole body except for the feet, hands and face, allowing Muslim women to swim in public.
Zanetti said she has sold more than 9,000 Burkinis at AUSD125 to AUSD160.

What's In A Name?

A lot, I would imagine.
Here's why I am raising this topic of names. I'd like to ask you -- would you mind if the authorities stop you from naming your baby boy "2Prick" or your baby girl "3Pussy"?
Never mind whether anyone in their right mind would want to give those kind of names to their offsprings. Believe me, there are all sorts in this weird world of ours.
But, say, you think those are really cool names and, hey, that's your kid and you have the right to be giving whatever name that pleases you. Right?
And never mind if that kid of yours will be embarrassed for the rest of his or her meaningful life, and that you may, in the future, regret that stupid decision of yours to give that disgustingly stupid name.
It is your freeedom. Right?
Now, do you think anyone has the right to stop you from exercising that freedom to give your baby (b a b y, as in child, not b a b e, ok?) whatever name you so desire?
I believe in Malaysia, there is a loose guideline on names for children. I believe, for Malays, you can't liberally use Putera or Puteri. I think Putera is a no-no but Puteri is meant for girls who are eligibile, that is, those with royal lineage.
Of course, there are other no's and cannot's.
In New Zealand, a couple was not allowed to register their baby's name as "4Real".
Pat and Sheena Wheaton were told that numerals are not allowed in names.
They decided to name their new baby "4real" shortly after having an ultrasound and being struck by the reality of his impending arrival.
"For most of us, when we try to figure out what our names mean, we have to look it up in a babies book and ... there's no direct link between the meaning and the name.
"With this name, everyone knows what it means," Pat told TV One on Wednesday.
Click here for the full story.
I think I am so conservative in this department. I just don't get it.
Why do people want to give their kids weird names?
Can you imagine if my real name was Witchypoo? Or Pink Candy? Or Sweet Pussy?
I'd disown my parents, I would.
Then again, I might not if - with the exception of Witchypoo - I had ended up in show sleazeness.
Yeah, the Wheatons are so over the moon, that this whole "having a baby thing" is really, really for real.
But, please. Have mercy on the innocent child.
You know it is really not your right, in all its entirety to name that baby of yours whatever you like.
Your baby is relying on you to not get crazy and give him or her a ridiculous name.
Meanwhile, we'll see if the Wheatons will finally get to name their baby "4Real".
But, hey, that's a great name for a hip-hop group. Or a real estate company.

Jealousy and (True) Love

Is jealousy a sign of true love?
Man, what a load of crock, this careless statement is.
This was a point of debate in Light.FM yesterday (Wednesday June 20) between Simon and Caroline with their listeners.
You know you cannot answer this question with a simple yes or no.
One or two said "no, if you love him./her you shouldn't even be jealous" or "if you trust him/her you should not be jealous".
Yeah, yeah. All morally-correct statements but so hypocritical and pretentious.
People. We are human, We are no saints. We are given to the two horns coming out of our heads and the green in our eyes, some time (though not all the time because that spells trouble).
Unless, your heart is pure gold and really pure, then you are excused for not being human. So you are not prone to an iota of jealousy or envy.
PUHLEEEZE.
Any of you ever felt that tinge of jealousy or envy when someone pays unwanted attention on your beau and he/she responds in equal amount?
Don't lie. Unless you no longer care two hoots about your partner, then, yeah, I can understand that you don't give a damn who he/she flirts with.
Now, the truth, please. Don't you feel a tinge of hot flush from the pit of your stomache right up to your brain when your beau or the love of your life gets into a cosy chat with someone else?
But wait. In the first place, if he/she had any regard for you, he/she would not be doing that or get into that cosy situation, right?
You see, a little bit of jealousy is okay. In fact, good in, or for, a relationship. Keeps both of you on your toes. Keep the heart a-fluttering. That's what I think.
I mean, I don't care if Antonio talks to another woman. But, if he talks to this woman all night long and forgets that I exist, yes, I would get jealous.
But then, is jealousy the right word?
I'm not sure now. I would get hurt, yes. A little insulted too because, how dare he ignore me !
So... back to the question -- is jealousy a sign of true love?
Maybe a little. Too much means you are insecure and needy. And that is bad. So, in very small doses should be fine.
Non, mes amis? Que pensez-vous ?

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

The thing to remember about fathers is...they're men. A girl has to keep it in mind: They are dragon-seekers, bent on improbable rescues. Scratch any father, you find someone chock-full of qualms and romantic terrors, believing change is a threat, like your first shoes with heels on, like your first bicycle... - Phyllis McGinley.

10 Ways To Get Lucky At Love

Well, I am not one to rest on my laurel and let love takes its course. Just in case, you know what I mean...so just in case, I read stuff. I stumbled on this one. It has tips from psychotherapist/romance coach and author, Kathryn Lord, for those of you who are looking for that elusive mate.

According to the little write-up on her, Kathryn met her now husband Drew online. Out of the dating world for years, she conquered her fears, found her perfect mate and built a solid relationship.
She has written "Find A Sweetheart Soon! Your Love Trip Planner for Women."
Kathryn has been helping singles and couples for more than 25 years. She is on the web at Find-a-Sweetheart.com.

Just for fun, here they are:

1. Know what you want. Your looks change and fade, character does not. While a certain amount of "chemistry" is nice, don't rely solely on lust. What qualities are you looking for in a mate?
   
2. Get clear about what you don't want. Knowing what you really can't tolerate in a partner is important. Make a list of your "don't wants" and then cut it down to the 10 most important. Any more than that and you'll be too picky.
3. Live your life. Once you know clearly what you want (and don't want) in a relationship, shift your focus to living your life. You'll find that you start noticing those who might fit, and passing by those who don't.
4. See the big picture. Don't try so hard that you miss the obvious. If you are great at focusing, step back now and then and look at the big picture. Work on having a playful, whimsical attitude towards life.
5. Get out of the house . Cultivate opportunities to expand your social circle and meet
   new people. Vary your routine
6. Open your eyes and your attitude. Lucky people notice, create and maximize chance opportunities. Chat with other shoppers while you are waiting in line. Be ready with a "calling card" -- a personal business-type card with basic contact information.
7. Get curious. Don't content yourself with the obvious. Ask questions. Wonder why. Find answers.
8. Try something new. The best way to have things stay the same is to never do anything different. Vary your daily routine, just to keep yourself awake. Shake yourself up and notice what happens. Keep yourself open to chance opportunities, and then take advantage of them.
9. Expect good luck. Monitor your self-talk for negative messages that interfere with luck. Replace the negative thoughts with positives. Surround yourself with examples of lucky people.
10. Learn from bad luck. Take steps to prevent more bad luck from what you have learned, then let the "bad" go. Don't dwell on or rehash the bad experience. Look for the positive elements.

Of course, some of it is pure common sense while some of the common sense, I am sure, we somehow have overlooked or ignored. Perhaps it is just so common sense.
Some of it, I think is not so practical or pretty tacky. Or just so over-stated.

This is just for fun, for when you have nothing better to read. I am sure some of you are already an expert in the art of love and staying in love.

Life WIthout Mummy

What were you doing on August 31 1997, at the time Princess Diana died?
I know it was a weekend and I was at work.
Then, Antonio called to inform me of Diana's accident.
I remember I had also heard the news and was hoping the Princess of Wales would survive the accident.
She didn't. She succumbed to her injuries, and the whole world mourned her death.
I remember watching the entire programme devoted to her funeral.
It was surreal, I couldn't believe that she had died. Princess Diana had died.
I felt I knew her. She was larger than life.
She is still being talked about till today, nearly 10 years after her death.
Let me tell you, I took sides. You can tell me a lot of things about her, but I was vehemently on her side.
Sorry, Charlie, but it was difficult to see what it was that was troubling you.
So, I will not go into detail.
I caught this story about Diana's youngest child, Prince Harry who was reminiscing about his mom in an interview with NBC, a US television station.
He and his brother, Prince William reflected on their mom, her death, life without her and how much they miss her.
Harry, 22, says he will "never stop wondering" about her’s death and that he still feels her presence till today.
Twenty-four-year-old William says of her death: "There is not a day goes by that I don't think about it."
Princess Diana met her tragic death in the Pont de L'Ama tunnel in Paris on August 31 1997 when the limousine she was crashed with paparazzi in hot pursuit.
At that time, she was romantically linked to Egyptian Dodi Al-Fayed who was the son of Mohamed Al-Fayed, owner of Harrods.
Of course, later on, conspiracy theories abound.

To read the story, Click here.

(Photo is of Harry in his mother's arms, taken in 1988.)

Ageing Isn't So Bad

Yeah, and I want to believe it. I haven't got a choice, have I?
But guess what? Antonio's namesake -Antonio Banderas the actor, the hunk - says it is wrong to see ageing as such a bad thing.

He says that ever since he and his wife, Melanie, have been together, she hasn’t had surgery.

But I remember reading somewhere that Melanie had a nip here and a tuck there. Must have read it in a gossipy tabloid.
Like who should I be believing, an unnamed source in a trashy supermarket tabloid or Antonio Banderas, the husband?

Antonio says wrinkles to him "are like medals."
He further says: "And I think getting old is great. I can’t read at night now without my glasses and I love them because I think they give me a certain dignified look.
I read somewhere that the sixties are the new forties. I’m really hoping that’s true."

Oh mercy me... my kind of man. A man after my own heart.

Yep. He said all that. Can you believe it?

(You can read it all here.)

I hardly think about ageing in the aesthetic sense, in that it means growing wrinkly and craggy. I know that I'll get wrinkly and craggy. All of us will, no matter how much cream we apply on our face and neck every night of everyday.
And I am no believer in plastic surgery or botox. Heaven forbids!

So, I will get all wrinkly.

Still, I'd want to grow old gracefully and how I am going to achieve that is through the state of my mind. Whether I am able to do that remains for me to see.

What I do think a lot more about are loneliness in old age and our financial stability in our twilight years. I think about illness, mortality and death.

But, there are times that I do think about ageing in the beauty and physical sense as it is related to how we would be if all that is gone in us.

For instance, will Antonio leave me for someone younger (or whatever) when he finds me no longer attractive. Will I not then be alone, and lonely?

Who will be my my side when I am older? Then I get even sadder. What if he goes before me?

Oh, I hate to be drawn into thinking about these things. So morbid.

Life can be cruel, I know. I see too many unhappy things around me. But, we cannot allow ourselves to be overwhelmed by the hopelessness in the world we live in.
I see so much positiveness too. Love and joy. Happiness. Bliss.

Wrinkles are like medals. I like that. I hope I see Antonio's wrinkles as medals, for a start. And if it's true that the 60s are the new 40s, who cares about wrinkles! Just bring on the 60s. I am so ready!

Togetherness

"We are told that people stay in love because of chemistry, or because they remain intrigued with each other, because of many kindness, because of luck. But part of it has got to be forgiveness and gratefulness" -- Ellen Goodman.

Just a Flicker. Where's the Fire?

Sometimes I think our love is dead. No fire in our belly. Just a flicker in our hearts.
I remember those early days when we were so in love. When he was in love with me, and I with him.
He used to tell me that ours would be the greatest love story ever. I used to believe it too.
Does time make a relationship stronger or allow it to wane?
You could tell when a man changes. He gets easily distracted. He begins to tell little fibs, and says them with flair.
He begins to turn very private. He has women friends whom you do not know, you have never met, and you possibly never will. He'll be sure to keep them away from you.
Then he begins to break his promises. With ease.
There was a time I thought Antonio was the best-est of them all. Because he showed to me that he was.
I am trying to find out where we have gone wrong. Where I have gone wrong.
Sometimes I let my fertile imagination run wild. I hate myself for that.
Antonio tries, of course to reassure me.
Yeah, yeah. He says he still loves me. And very much too.
Sometimes I think I am paranoid. Other times I am convinced he is a bastard.
It was not too long ago that we had so much to talk about.
These days, when we are sitting together, he'd be playing with his little gizmo, smsing and I am always thinking he is responding to smeses from that woman he had more than an interest in back in 2004/05. Paranoia? Perhaps.
But, well, once bitten....
While he plays with his little gizmo they call a mobile phone, I'd be reading the newspapers or something. We'd talk, yeah, but never like before.
There are things I cannot ask him about. He'd just switch off.
I know I am painting such a bad picture of Antonio. And that's not fair.
Perhaps I am a little down tonight. Or rather, this morning.
Antonio and I have friends who seem to be in unhappy relationships/marriages. Sometimes we see them cheat on their partners.
He'd tell me that there are men and there are men. Loosely translated it means that he aint like that, baby.
How I, like a ninny, believed him.
Oh well. We all can be stupid sometimes.
But you gotta learn not to be. I wish it was that easy to do.

Why and Why?

Can we ask God to help us stop loving someone because loving him brings more pain and hurt, because he loves you less now, because he is not the person you fell in love with, because he lies, because he has been unfaithful and because he has been breaking promises he made to you?
Why can't you cease to love someone when he loves you less than you love him?
Do I sound pathetic?
I wish emotions are something we can control.
Why can't we love with our head and not our heart? A little bit of both, maybe. Perhaps, when the heart cannot see the right in a situation, the head can take over.
Do you not wish sometimes that, with a snap of your fingers, you can decide to leave the supposed love of your life?
Do you not wish that you had made that decision 10 years ago when you met him and when he wooed you? Because you did not believe the "stories"you heard about him.
Do you not wish that you had trusted your instinct instead of falling so madly in love with him only to realise about 6 years later that you were really mad for falling in love because he turned out to be such a lying scum?
Why does love make women asinine and brainless?

Poisonous Greens

Shoot! We can't trust our farmers no more.
This is so not good.
I love veges. I load my plate with lots of 'em. I love the rainbow colours of vegetables.
I love spinach, mustard greens, kai lan, beans, cabbages....and salads -- the Mat Salleh or Malay variety. Just love them.
And now this?
I wash my greens. But if they've been tainted with poison or toxic chemicals, washing them won't guarantee that the washed greens are free of poison.
You know what is the problem? Enforcement and checks.
We are so not in this game.
Mad traffic, congested roads, speedhogs, landslides, floods, horrid public toilets, crumbling (almost) buildings.....
And yes HORRID taxi drivers/cabbies.
Half of our government officers have been overseas on holiday or work. Have they not learnt anything from their stint overseas, their holiday abroad?
God help us! For we cannot help ourselves. Meow!

Can Men and Women Be "Just Friends"?

For a lot of people, this is not quite possible.
How can we be friends? No way!
Well, I know a lot of my girlfriends find it hard to have a platonic relationship with guys.
Now, I find that so strange. I have several guy friends who are, well, just friends.
We are not physically attracted to each other. Neither sexually. Emotionally? Hell no!
At least, not on my part. And I am pretty sure, not on theirs either.
My girlfriends tell me that given half a chance, they'd go to bed with me anytime.
I am insulted by that remark. They're talking about my (guy) friends as though these guys are sleazeballs masquerading as platonic friends.
Besides, I have never got any "signal" from them.
Yeah, yeah, I have been accused of having thick skin.
Ok, ok, my girlfiends may be right. But that is really stereotyping men.
Whoops, and I am so guilty of that too.
But, not in this case.
I'm pretty weird in that sense.
In college, I was never attracted to my classmates. Even the gorgeous ones whom other girls would be having a crush on.
I have no idea why I am like that.
It's like it's so incestuous to be having anything romantic, physical or emotional or all of that, with one's classmates or colleagues.
Yes, colleague! He maybe the world's sexiest hunk but I probably see him as, er, just another colleague, of the male variety.
However. in case, you have any doubts about this issue, read this interesting article here.

Old Money & New Money

One of my favourite pastimes is people-watching. Yeah. The old-fashioned kind.
I have made some of the most accurate assumptions and conclusions about people just by watching them.
Sometimes I get so carried away that Antonio has to tug at my sleeve to remind me that I was so being obvious.
I can't help it.
I don't like to make a conclusion about people but I have found out that I am usually right.
With more and more Malaysians acquiring new-found wealth, you can see so much affluence around you.
I'm always tickled by "affluent" people whom I see at social hang-outs in and around the city.
Oh. I aint a zillionnaire. But, I certainly aint from the gutter.
Let's say that I am not unfamiliar with wealth and trappings of wealth, and the wealthy -- the rich and famous. Particularly, old money.
So, it always amuses me to see ladies in severely-tinted or highlighted or dyed hair, wearing gaudy skimpy designer (original, excuse me) tees, tight designer jeans, high-heeled designer shoes and LV handbags. Oh, did I say dripping with designer jewwllery? And this is just at the supermarket.OUCH!
It is awful. Designer top-to-toe. Plain awful.
I know, I know. She's loaded. Rather, hubby is a filthy zillionnaire.
I'll bet it's the new crony contract he just laid his hands on.
Oh. I have seen dozens of these ladies. You can tell that they want YOU to know that they are RICH.
Now, therein lies the difference between the cheapo rich look and the old money rich look.
The cheapo new money wants the whole world to know that she has arrived. My point exactly -- just arrived. And loudly too.
Now, old money? My aunt Elsa is really old old money.
She has tons of cars because she has tons of money, having inherited from her rich granddaddy who was a tin miner.
Aunt Elsa is no lazy lady of leisure. She runs a family company. Rather well too, given her accountancy and business background.
But, she goes around in an old Honda Civic. She wears a simple white shirt which you could only guess is expensive because it looks expensive on her, a jade bracelet and she carries a luxurious-looking handbag, the brand of which you can't tell but it sure looks expensive.
She is often in a simple pair of light-coloured trousers and a pair of mules in neutral tones.
Aunt Elsa's hair is in her natural dark-brown. I think she colours her hair to disguise the grey strands. Her healthy, exuberantly glossy hair is styled in a simple shoulder-length cut.
And she looks a million dollars.
I'd want to look like her anytime than a dolled-up tart.
Do I sound bitchy? I apologise but this is just my honest observation.
You see, Aunt Elsa so often tells me that her handbag she is carrying is the one she got from a flea market or somewhere exotic because she likes going to these places to get old stuff and such.
Her blouse was made by her long-time tailor and her trousers were bought at Edmund Ser. Sometimes at a boutique in Paris.
But, sure makes no difference to me.
Aunt Elsa buys things she likes whether they are cheap, moderately-priced or expensive.
But, they have to be of qood quality.
She has been so rich for so long that she cannot fool anyone.
A classy lady that she is -- she is ever so polite to waiters, doormen, car jockeys and just about anyone.
Now, that's class. That's old money.

Working Out Right

I'm not young. Well, anyone over 40 aint young. So I am not young.
Ok, this is not about age. I am going to talk about staying youthful.
It was not very long ago that I was sitting at a cafe with a girlfriend who happens to be also over 40.
We're no Angelina Jolie or Halle Barry. But, we're ok. That's because, I think, we're fit. We have pretty trim bodies. Not too bad skin too.
The point is -- and this aint bragging, really, not bragging -- we don't look our age. We didn't know that, at first. People kept telling us that.
So, how does an over-40 woman look like? I'd say she would look like me because I am over-40, as well as some of my girlfriends.
Apparently, not.
But, let's take this a little further.
Like I said. I was at a cafe with my girlfriend and we were talking, sipping latte, talking and then two young ladies walked past.
I repeat two YOUNG ladies. They looked like they were in their 20s.
They were wearing what most young ladies would be wearing -- tight-fitting bare midriff t-shirts and hipster jeans.
Sexy, eh?
Afraid not. They looked like a pair of overfilled cupcakes. Swear to God! And I don't mean to be mean and cruel.
They shouldn't be looking like that. They're young, youthful and they should be taking care of their health, and therefore, their bodies.
What have they been eating and drinking? All those fat-laden fast food, I bet.
But, heck, I have that too, occasionally.
I had my time when I was young. But I never never looked like that. I had a very trim and slim and fit body.
And I was a smoker, too! That was probably the only bad thing I ever did. Smoking.
Don't know whether it's genetic. Perhaps I had (no longer now) a high metabolic rate. But I know I was conscious about my health.
Perhaps too I liked sports. So it was not difficult for me.
When I got married and had kids, I told myself that I had to keep fit so that I could take better care of my kids. You know, go to the park and play games with them.
Of course, with kids and work, you need to organise yourself. Keeping a keep-fit routine needs a strong willpower. And that is an understatement.
But, I have kept to a routine. I slack sometimes. I make up for that, other times.
I have to also watch what and how I eat. Oh yes.. I do indulge but see, I work out.
I stay focus. I have to.
I also tell myself I don't wanna look like ..... oh never mind. That always works.

If you're interested, here's something to read. It's all about working out. Click here.

LOVING AND LOSING

Oh Man! I know I haven't been dutiful. Ok, ok. That's another way of saying I have been so lazy. Haven't been updating my blog.
Actually, I have been away. Working. So tired at the end of the day.

But here's a posting, courtesy HeraldnewsOnline, on love that's turned into a lawsuit:

"It's better to have loved and lost, unless the woman keeps your 50 grand engagement ring and threatens to sell it.
And that's just what the former fiancee of Naperville businessman Richard Phebus did, according to his attorney.
Phebus popped the question to 43-year-old Renee Mingilino of Naperville in December and presented her with a 5.03 carat, center pear-shaped diamond engagement ring.
Altobello Appraisal of Wheaton put the ring's value at a cool $48,000.
But the love affair soured soon after and, by February, the couple was meeting with a counselor in hopes of saving their rocky relationship, according to court papers.
The counselor's guidance apparently provided no remedy for the ailing romance and the two threw in the towel, with Mingilino agreeing to return the ring, papers show.
From there things between Phebus and Mingilino went from bad to worse, according to a complaint filed by Phebus' attorney, James J. Laraia of Wheaton, as Mingilino refused to return the ring, then demanded money from Phebus for it and even threatened sell the token of his affection.
At some point, Mingilino went so far as to claim she had already sold the ring, Laraia said, but Mingilino's 24-year-old daughter revealed it was being kept in a safe deposit box at an undisclosed bank.
But the fear of Mingilino cashing in on the ring was very real, as the complaint alleged she recently declared bankruptcy and was unemployed.
Phebus filed suit against Mingilino on March 22. The case went to court, and he obtained an order for Mingilino to surrender the ring to the sheriff's department.
In exchange, he had to put up a $100,000 bond until the squabble was sorted out. Now, it's all taken care of.
She gave up the ring, he got it back, and their love story has come to an unhappy end.
"He's a sentimental guy and this has affected him," Laraia said of his client, who failed to return calls for comment.
"He really loved her and, for whatever reason, it didn't work out, and he's pretty shaken up about it."
Neither Mingilino nor her attorney, Chris Spesia, could be reached for comment.
As for the ring, Phebus might end up recycling it.
Laraia says his client told him, "Right now, I'm going to hold on to it. Maybe someday, if I fall in love again, I'll give it to her."

Sigh.................

ASSERTIVE WOMEN AND WHAT SCARE MEN

In my previous relationship, my ex-husband fell in love with me not just for my looks (whatever that was), my intelligence (yeah, yeah, whatever...) but also for my personality (whatever that was).
I remember he said he liked my S T R O N G personality, my sense of independence, my self-reliance.
He thought I was real smart.
I thought I was normal smart.
I was, of course, all that and everything he wanted in a woman.
But, hey, he met me when I was all of 22 -- had graduated, started work and about to go abroad for graduate studies.
Of course, this is usually the case --- he became tired of those very "qualities" he fell for earlier in our relationship.
I suppose, the novelty just died.
Men just don't like assertive women. Or qualities they perceive to be assertiveness.
Sometimes, they can't tell the difference between assertiveness and arrogance in women.
For an interesting read, check this out.
And perhaps, you'd want to know the 15 things that scare a man. It's here. Meow.

SOUL MAN OR SOUL MATE

Is the man you're marrying your soul mate?
If he is, does that mean you'd have a good marriage, one that lasts and lasts, forever and ever?
I've always thought that if I'd want to marry someone, he's got to be my soul mate because we'd understand each other so well that we would get everything right most times.
He'd know what would hurt me and I'd know what would hurt him.
That would be a damn good foundation for a marriage.
But, wait.... can someone tell me what a soul mate is? My own definition is that of someone who knows my soul, someone I feel so connected to.......
Read more about soulmates. Perhaps you will find your definition somewhere there. Meow.