I have decided that the only way to not look back at black spots in my life with Antonio is to get the demons out of me.
In other words, I must first forgive him and then not ask any more. In order to do that, I must discard any feelings of suspicion about anything that remotely links him to any woman.
It is really quite simple,I have discovered. Although it is easier said than done.
I figured that asking Antonio about his indiscretions and transgression will not get me anywhere.
First, he is not going to admit to anything. Sure, he'd admit to having coffee or tea with so-and-so. But, would he admit to anymore than that? Not that I am told that he had anything more than that.
Usually, my suspicions would be based on proof of something much more innocent than that.
But they are usually suspicions.
I have learnt also that suspicions are very dangerous to be flirting with.
The reality is that Antonio is a wonderful human being. He is the most considerate and loving and romantic and oh so much more.
He is dishonest? He pleaded innocence. He said having tea or coffee with a woman friend does not make him unfaithful.
That intimate relations with that certain woman? He has denied. What more do I want him to say?
That does not mean that I trust him completely. Trust is a very elusive thing, you know. But that can no longer be the issue.
When a close friend told me she was going to "tail" her husband so that she could prove to him that he was indeed having an affair, I was the wise one who told her that she should be very prepared for some very unpleasant things.
I told her that if it was true that he was having an affair, was she ready to leave him? Go through the divorce proceedings, If he admitted to it and refused to leave his mistress/girlfriend?
She did get the proof, the husband did leave the woman but they have a rotten marriage.
Life is really short. There are things we have to learn to live with. And to forgive.Meow.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
there's not much trust in you isnt it broo... one way or another, this issue has to be ironed out. a relationship cant go on without utmost trust...
hi zewt,
i really don't know what else to do, or how to iron out this issue.
For instance, he has denied having any "intimate relations" with the woman in question. i can't accuse him of an affair because I have no knowledge or proof of that. But i do have proof of an uncomfortable or discomforting closeness, that begs suspicion. he has denied this.
but because of this, i wonder whether there have been others i was not aware of. i know this is so not good.
so, i have to accept that, and well,carry on living, and loving,i suppose.
hi witch's broo,
happy cny.. :)
regarding to your post:-
once beaten twice shy, is what you're experiencing right now i guess. perhaps you've gone through stuff like these before and perhaps you're afraid that those similar incidents will happen again to you.
perhaps a good talk about your feelings, with antonio would calm you down?
hi Calvin's Girl,
How as your CNY?
Mine was a quiet celebration. Well, the whole city was quiet. Kind of.
Thanks for the concern and the words of wisdom...
I suppose I would need a right time to talk. But Antonio, like most men, hates to be asked about these things.
Not that we have not spoken about this sort of thing. But,often, he would knwo where our talk would be going.
But, the fact is that, heart-to-heart talk seems like something in the past for us now.
I think for any couple, they reach a stage where you just have to accept each other....
com'on broo,
Just send the guy over to the NPC and after a few drinks... I have ways to loosen his tongue .... then you'd probably know the sordid details ... but be prepared for the worst !!
Advice given to your girlfriend is advice you should also take... ! no offence broo.!
Just offering my services to a fellow blogger !
hey broo,
what I meant by services is "a little "fatherly" service... okay !
hello mr shanghaistephen,
you are most thoughtful.
The NPC, eh? That is the national press club that i read you have been raving about, that is your watering hole?
Is it like a pub? Is it a guys' place? Male bonding and all that?
Are there women there? Where is the place?
Let me think this over.
A very difficult decision.
And, mr stephen,I didnt think you meant anything else than "fatherly". But are you that old?
Post a Comment