Have A Good 2009!

"The merry year is born
Like the bright berry from the naked thorn."
~Hartley Coleridge


Let's hope 2009 is better! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

The Cheat In Him

Oh, you know how I love articles that give tips on dating and loving and how to know if you man's a damn cheat!

A recent issue of Cosmo, featured one on detecting the cheat in your man.

It ran a simple test. Check it out.

Here's point to consider -- you have to realize that just because he possesses characteristics of a mangy scoundrel doesn't mean he's actually cheating on you.

"You have to listen to your gut as well as read the clues," says Gary Aumiller, Ph.D., a psychologist and coauthor of "Red Flags! How to Know When You're Dating a Loser."

Run through this list of wandering-eye warning signs to see if your partner is predisposed to prowl... and find out how you can deal.

Dating Factor: His Background

Cheat Predictor #1

Was he spoiled as a kid?

Do his parents tend to baby him and help him out of financial jams?

Has he ever bragged about cheating on an exam or paying someone to write a paper for him in college?

If your man seems to have sailed through life without ever hitting the rough waters that rock the rest of us, beware. Privileged chaps tend to suffer from a sense of entitlement (read: bratty-boy syndrome), so he may believe that the rules don't apply to him. He's so used to getting what he wants, why should he stop now?

"He might cheat because he thinks he deserves to fulfill all of his needs, no matter who he might hurt," says Shirley Glass, Ph.D., a psychologist, infidelity expert and author of the forthcoming "Not Just Friends: Protecting Your Relationship from Infidelity and Healing from the Trauma of Betrayal."
"He probably has little concept of how upset you would be if you found out because he's too self-centered to think about your feelings."

So how do you know if your have-it-all hunk has other women on his wish list?
Glass suggests paying attention to how he copes when he's confronted with any bad behavior on his part.
Does he regret getting caught forwarding your racy emails to his friends but feel no guilt for doing it in the first place?
Does he blame others when he screws up rather than take responsibility himself?
If he can't see how his actions affect others, he's not likely to say, "Whoa, what about my girlfriend?" when temptation strikes.

Dating Factor: His Career

Cheat Predictor #2

Does he work mostly with women?

Is he always logging in late hours, whether it be at the office, at dinner with clients or on business trips?

Does he make a lot of money?

It's great to date a guy with ambition -- and his deep pockets definitely don't hurt when he brings you pricey baubles -- but the office environment can open the door to private meetings of the carnal kind.
According to Glass, studies show that when men cheat, it's most often with a work colleague. "Not only are people with similar interests side by side on a daily basis, but the time they spend together is usually when they're most energetic and look their best."

Unfortunately, the bigger his wallet, the more likely your busy bee is to cozy up with an office buddy.
According to a study conducted by Jan Halper, Ph.D., author of "Quiet Desperation: The Truth About Successful Men," top-tier guys have affairs more often than those on a lower rung, and not just because big bucks can be babe magnets.
"Evolution has wired men to understand that the better they are at providing, the more appealing they are to women," says Alon Gratch, Ph.D., a psychologist and author of "If Men Could Talk."
"Since testosterone is what drives men's quest for power, if a guy has achieved status, he's more likely to act on his desires." Remember that little Oval Office incident?

But before you start staking out your guy's office parking lot, realize that a career-oriented man might just be spending time working diligently.
If he sounds happy that you call during the day, invites you to his office and takes you to company parties, you're most likely his one and only partner.
It's when he acts more secretive about his work than a CIA agent that he's probably taking on after-hours clients.

Dating Factor: His Schmooze MO

Cheat Predictor #3

Can he talk his way out of anything (parking tickets, rolling into work late)?

Does he make an effort to charm everyone -- your coworkers, your older sister, a saleswoman?

When you go to parties, does he insist on making the rounds?

Your friends and family love him, and he always manages to keep you entertained. How could you not adore him?
But according to Glass, sweet-talkers often have a deep need for approval and thrive on attention. So what's wrong with dating a really friendly fella? Well, sometimes a smooth operator's need for the spotlight can't be satisfied by one woman's ego-stroking.
And if he's suave with the ladies, opportunities undoubtedly arise.
"Charmers meet a lot of women and win them over easily," says Aumiller. "So even if his intentions aren't more than friendship, they might be willing to move beyond friendship, and that's hard to resist."

To determine if your charmer might become a two-timer, watch how he interacts with you in social settings.
A guy who wants to play with other partners may brush you off when chatting with a new female friend or get noticeably more uncomfortable with PDAs when other women are around.
"He should act like a boyfriend, giving you side glances when he's talking with someone else, for example, or making sure he spends at least part of the night partying with you," says Gratch. But it also wouldn't hurt to remind him how attention-worthy you are.
When he chats up a chick in the corner, flirt with a few guys yourself. Once he sees that you have your own game going on, he'll focus back on you.

Dating Factor: His Friends

Cheat Predictor #4

Does he usually hang out with a crew of mostly single guys?

Do his friends encourage him to join them in just-for-men activities?

Do his pals have problems staying in relationships?

The nightclubs, the bachelor parties, the dudes-only deeds we're better off not knowing the details of -- it's enough to make any woman worry just a wee bit.
Although boys-will-be-boys, bonding time helps a committed man feel less, well, trapped, the appeals of bachelorhood may make him long to be a free agent.
A recent study of 37,000 men and women showed that when guys see those around them splitting from their significant others, it tends to encourage them to do the same.

You want to believe that his buddies would have enough sense to stop your guy from canoodling with some cute club-hopper, but they won't always be on your side.
According to Aumiller, "If a coupled-up guy's friends are all looking to get lucky, they may not only tease him about being tied down but also actually dare him to cheat. At the very least, they'll cover for him."

Still, there's no need to ban him from hanging out with the bachelors if he's able to strike the right balance between his buddies and you.
"He should include you sometimes when he meets up with friends," says Glass.
Although your fella's frat pack might seem like the enemy, chumming it up with the guys (fake fondness if you have to) can do wonders for your relationship. Once you've earned their respect, they're much less likely to push your partner into prowling.

The B Word

I am so happy happy happy.

See...little things can make me happy.

You know how it is when you read magazines or watch television and you catch those visuals of those gorgeous celebrities and you look with envy at their smooth almost wrinkle-free faces, and of course, their so well-toned bodies.

Well, you're not really envious. You're just wondering how they could have those almost ageless faces. Once in a while, a naughty story comes up with pictures of how they actually look without their make-up and all manner of aids to keep them looking good.

Still, when they're made-up, they're gorgeous.

But first, let me say that I believe that beauty is skin-deep and beauty comes from within, that all of us are beautiful in our own way and that if your heart is good, you radiate that goodness from within and you will look beautiful......

So...back to those gorgeous celebrity faces....
I was watching "E!" on Astro channel 712, and to my utter utter delight, a majority of celebrities, including the A-listers, ARE on or HAVE had BOTOX, to smoothen them lines....

Can you beat that?

I was laughing like crazeee, I tell ya!

These celebrities -- young and old and older, male and female -- have BOTOX to help them look goooooood!!!!

BOTOX!

And I was envious.....haha!

Silly silly me!

I thank God for the face that He has given me. I will accept the lines and wrinkles with sincerity and ask for strength that I will NEVER EVER have the urge to resort to BOTOX! Amen!

Obama Is President

I was listening to LightFM this morning, eagerly awaiting the topic of discussion. It is usually about, love, life and human behaviour. Or about money, or bad manners on the road...

I was kinda surprised when the DJs decided to talk politics. They decided on Barack Obama's victory.

The DJs invited listeners to say what they think about that.

Actually, I had expected callers to talk about ethnicity and the country's premiership.

Many of them wondered aloud whether Malaysia will ALSO change.

If they were more honest, they would probably say that they would like to see a non-Malay Malaysian Prime Minister.

Instead they went around the bush saying how nice that Americans have voted for a Black/African Amercian to be their President and how nice if Malaysians would do the same and see beyond ethnicity and race.

Let me say that I am so happy that Obama is President because it shows that Americans are a-okay.

For one racist red-neck American, there are thousands who are open and broad-minded.

The stage is set for a new US of A. Hallellujah! as one of my favourite bloggers hollered.

(Not to forget Rocky's post on Obama. But, aah...you've probably already read it.)

The US has really come a long way. Who would have thought that a Black would be occupying the White House?

How long did it take America to see beyond colours?

The journey was long and the ride was rough. No doubt about that.

But don't be fooled. Racism is still alive and kicking in the good US of A.

Back to the LightFM listeners who were lamenting about the country's state of affairs i.e still having a Malay Prime Minister.

Truly and honestly, I am fine with any kind of Prime Minister as long as he or she has the people's interest at heart.

I'm just an insignificant blogger. The only thing I can say is that America and Malaysia share very little, if, hardly, in historical background.

I guess we need to change many things, including the Constitution, if we want to have a non-Malay Prime Minister.

I'm not even sure about that.

Meanwhile....I am happy Obama is President. May he help change America!

A Lady Like This I Cannot Be

Over the Deepavali weekend, I met a lady. First time that we met. Let's call her Laura.

It was at a mutual friend's Deepavali luncheon.
So, Laura and I got into a conversation about life, children, marriage, religion and, well, the world and the universe.
She is a very attractive woman in her 40s. A Eurasian who's now married to a Muslim. She was married to a non-Muslim and they had two (now grown-up) children.
She has two sons with her current husband.

It was a nice afternoon as we finished off the marrukku. Antonio was with our mutual friend's hubby and buddies at the other end of the garden.

Ok...what Laura told me really left me gaping like an idiot.

She told me that she loves her husband. Otherwise she would have left him when she found out that he had an affair.

An affair? Sex and sex?

"You mean you forgave him? Forgive and forget? Why", I asked, in astonishment.

"I could also not forgive him and leave him....," she replied. But she chose not to because she loves him.

She told me that she never knew her husband was cheating on her, all those two years.

TWO YEARS? And he he got away with that?

She found out about it because his young mistress called her and admitted to everything. She had already converted to Islam in the hope that he would marry her.

That's the trick mistresses use.

Not getting anywhere after being together that long so you spill the beans so that something will happen. Doesn't matter what. But hell if I'm gonna go through this like i don't exist in his life!

Aaah... the mistress' mantra.

When she confronted her husband, he denied. He never admitted to a single thing that the young woman alleged. Not the lust nor the love.

The mistress came to Laura's matrimonial home. In the presence of the wayward husband, she gave details of the relationship.

He admitted to nothing. Laura did not react. There was no hell, no fury in her case.

Forlorn, the mistress, left..

"Did you believe her or him?", I asked.

"I believe there was something. I don't know if it was an affair. Even if I cut his hand, he' deny. I also believe that he did not want to leave me. So he had to make a choice," she said.

And Laura felt so sorry for the other woman.

Me? I felt a little disappointed because there were no fireworks. No scene.

Laura assured me that she saw no point in prolonging "her pain". She loves her husband. After all, he denied having had a relationship with the "mistress". He denied so vehemently.

Should she believe the "mistress" or her "husband"?

Laura said in a marriage, we have to always prepare ourselves to disclosures of our spouses' infidelity.

"These things happen-lah...it's ok. we just have to deal with it. It's not the end of the world," she smiled.

It must be the Eurasian in her. I swear.

"Yah...maybe. I come from a long line of very stoical and resilient people," she said.

Laura....I do too. But if I find out Antonio has been in a lust and love relationship with a babe, I don't know what I'd do.

But I know I can't be like you. Stoic and resilient, notwithstanding.

I Met Rocky (Rocky's Bru)

I shouldn't blog about this! It's quite embarrassing. But it was the highlight of my week.

Remember I said that I'd been wanting to meet Ahiruddin Attan AKA Rocky of Rocky's Bru. Well, I did. The best thing was that it was not planned. Not exactly!

Nope, I wasn't about to email him or facebook him or do anything that would make me look hard-up. But, hell, I was so hard-up to meet him, I'm not ashamed to admit.

I think Antonio thinks I'm crazy. But he is just so sweet. He knows Rocky but will not introduce me to him because he says he (and probably Rocky too) will end up being very embarrassed.

I have been following Rocky's Bru from Day One. It was Antonio who introduced me to his blog.

I've been hooked since. This guy's one brave bugger!
From his blog, I go to the blogs on his blog roll. My other favourite is, of course, Jalan Sudin. She is amazing. Love her. I also like MM's Rantings, Stand-Up Philosopher, Zorro, Shanghai Fish, Zewt and Jacqui's Curve and Lady Patsy.

Then I got to know Elviza and Tok Mommy. I used to love Clark Gable of Pulau Duyong but sadly, he no longer blogs.

Now, back to that momentous moment!

I often see him in Bangsar with that certain someone whom I was duly told not to mention because it is none of my business. And don't speculate, I was nicely reminded.

So many times I wanted to say hi and introduce myself, but always stopped short because they seemed to be in their private little world that I didn't want to interrupt.

Antonio told me that Rocky is really very nice. On the ball. Knows stuff. Knows a lot of people. Very helpful. Six-foot two (or three) but such a gentle giant.

Won't that certain someone mind if I intrude?

Antonio said, no way. She's so nice too.

Anyway...boy, I am so nervous just writing this.

He was at Bangsar Village One, in front of the news-stand at the Grocer's supermarket, waiting for her (that certain someone).

Actually, I saw them earlier but I was not sure it was him, or her. I got closer to them as they stepped out of the escalator (from the carpark).

Yep...it was them, alright. So handsome! So macho! And she, so very attractive, and looking so good in a bright t-shirt with white slinky pants. Love her hair!

Then they headed for Basil, the Thai Restaurant. I followed.

They were seated. So I got myself seated too. Lucky me, I got a table very close to them.

They had their lunch. So did I. They chatted. Laughed. Chatted. Couldn't quite hear, although I was at the closest table.
But, I could feel the chemistry in the air. Aaah....lovebirds!

Meanwhile, I was figuring out when I could say hi.

And then. they got up to pay the bill.

I quickly got up too.

"Act naturally, act naturally, " I reminded myself..

So, you must be wondering when I met them.

After paying my bill (oh man. it was worth my tom yam and mocktail lunch!), I rushed out and saw Rocky standing in front of the news-stand.

I walked quickly. Aaah...finally, the moment.

"Hi!', I said. He looked up, smiled, but looking a bit puzzled because obviously I was a stranger, yet I was sure I must have looked familiar because I "lepak" in Bangsar too. Besides, I was lunching a while ago. at the table closest to you. Trying to eavesdrop. :-).
Er...remember? Hope not!

"Rocky?", I asked.

"I must be," he replied, ever so gently and politely. I thought...what a sexy man!

"I'm, er, your, fan..I mean...reader.", I stuttered, stammered.

"Oh?...that's always good to know. And you are?" He smiled. Man! Is this guy ever so tall.

I gave him my real name, I think. Nope. Wasn't going to say that I am the witch who leaves comments in his blog!

Then, she (that certain someone) appeared. She was so sweet. She smiled and said "hi there" and introduced herself.
My God! if I was a lesbian, I'd.....
I know I'm younger than her (Antonio knows her age because he was at her **th birthday party Rocky threw for her at the Press Club. Bloody romantic, I tell you!) but she really put me to shame. She has a great body. She is GORGEOUS!
Yep. No wonder. I could see just why!

I don't know what I mumbled. I might have said "I read you too!".
So nervous. They both smiled and I was sure they wanted to laugh just looking at how nervous I was.
But they were so sweet....

What was wrong with me? They're two normal ordinary people!

Then I said, "bye, bye...nice meeting you guys." I almost tripped as I attempted to "cabut".

I immediately called Jeremy and told him breathlessly that he didn't have to now bother introducing me to Rocky because I'd met the man himself. And a bonus for me, I met her, the LOHL (figure this one out, because Antonio said that's what she is to him).

And I was not disappointed! A fan more than ever, I am!

Now...let me run 10 miles. I need to be in shape.

So, that was the highlight of my week. And I have not gotten over it! Antonio is going around the house with earmuffs!

(So, Rocky, if you happen to pass by here...I've got a special broo for you!)

Has He (or She) Got A Secret Life?

What an odd topic. But I'll tell you why I'm bringing this up.

A close friend of ours just confessed that he's got a "secret" life.

Like a life his wife does not know about. Oh no no. He hasn't got another wife. Not another woman. Nor a mistress. Nor another family.

He's got little activities that he indulges in that the wife does not know about.

He's got sms friends. He's got online pals. He's got cafe latte/capuccino buddies. He's got drinking kakis.

And they include females. Actually, largely females. In fact, his secret life covers females.

Let's call our friend Zaman. Nice decent guy. Loves his wife and kids to bits.
A wonderful friend too.

And he has a secret life.

Why secret?

Because he's kept all these from his wife. She does not know that he sms-es women, chats with women, has coffee/teh tarik with women, drinks (mocktail/cocktail/beer/whatever) with women.

And he just confessed that he has "gym" dates.

I asked him about the nature of his relationship with these women. Zaman said some of them are "close" friends, others are friendship developed over time. Nothing serious but there is some kind of intimacy at a very distant level.

What the hell is that?

"Oh you know. Cosy in our smses but nothing beyond that," was his smart-ass reply.

Well, buddy. It better not be beyond that because serious, sordid and God-knows-what can develop from very innocent contact.

Trust me, Zaman. I have seen that. Don't you even think it, boy!

I told him to be careful. His secret life may explode in is face.

What kind of deception is that?

My final word of warning -- if it's a lie, sooner or later, boy. Sooner or later.

A Joyous Aidilfitri!

To my Muslim friends -- Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!

Don't over-eat. Drive carefully.

Remember to buckle up in the rear seats!

Same Old Dawn...

So I take this deliberate stance to be detached from politics. But, you know what they say...politics is everywhere around you, everything you touch, everything you hear and say...

And in this great country of ours, politics touches you in every way. That's the way it is. And that's the truth.

That is why I was full of anticipation, anguish, pain, ache, joy, sorrow during days, hours and moments before September 16.

But, the 16th day of the ninth month of this year, the day that Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim promised to seize for that was to have been his BIG day when he would chart history and history would have been MADE!

Anwar was going to be Prime Minister.

But...ALAS... it was not to be. September 16 came and went as fleetingly as any other day save a few high intensity happenings. In Malaysia it is nothing short of high intensity and sometimes, high velocity.

And why was I not surprised that September 16 was not to be fro brother Anwar?

Because nothing can be that easy to achieve, even for one as clever as Anwar.
It was simply tooo gooood to be true.

Taking over the reigns of power cannot be a picnic. Cannot be easy. Cannot be so damn easy.

So, I'd like to advice the likes of Anwar and PM wannabes.....you have to do it the RIGHT way.

You cannot pay off people to join you. Damn those MPs. That ain't no democracy in progress. That's corruption, babe.

Tsk tsk, brother Anwar...you should be practicing what you've been preaching.

And damn if I have to put up with those corrupt 30 or so MPs. You're the people's representatives, for God's sake!.

Let me make my exit for I am but a humble blogger who knows not much about politics..I'll stick to writing about my love and sex life and Antonio, anytime.

And so, we have the same old same old dawn.

What's Infidelity To You?

My problem with Antonio is our definition of what infidelity is.

To him, being unfaithful is if the partner sleeps with another person/persons, or have a any form of physical relationship with another person/persons.

In his book, there is no such thing as an emotional relationship without a physical relationship. But a physical relationship can exist without an emotional one.

In my book, anything goes.

In my book, being unfaithful is having ANY KIND of relationship with another person/persons, be it physical or emotional or both.

To Antonio, going for coffee/latte or meeting up for dinner with a woman is harmless and "don't mean a damn thing".

Sms-ing, emailing, facebooking with other females does not constitute infidelity, even though those messages carry intimate tones. And to females unknown to me.

It does not mean that he does not love me, he avers. The heart is strong for me. Yeah, yeah. It's not like he was going to take anyone to bed, you see.

To me....it always starts somewhere -- an innocent coffee, lunch or dinner. An innocent car-ride, an innocent anything.

It always starts with something so innocent and innocuous.

I have seen too many relationships start from that innocent something.

I suppose he thinks differently. He thinks he's like no other and cannot get easily tempted.

However, the trouble with Antonio is that while he believes that all this is innocent, he can be quite a teaser, a flirt.

Does he realize that he is, I wonder.

Would you call other women "baby" or "babe"? "Luv", I can understand.

So, I find that sometimes Antonio's intimacy is not exclusive to me. That bothers me.

Because I am not like that.

I don't know whether I have such high expectations from a man who is incapable of understanding my commitment and conviction.

He thinks that what is important is that he loves me -- so don't doubt him.

Fair enough, you think?

I think not.....

*****sorry for the long absence from blogging. I have been away.....

Goodbye Is So Damn Hard To Say!

It is. Because I have tried to say that to Antonio whenever I think that it is pointless to go on with me doubting his commitment to our relationship.

Then, I think of how much he really does love me.

Those flirtatious messages he sends to those babes or broads are just that -- flirtatious messages.
I must tell you that he NEVER ever flirts with anyone in my presence. I know, I know....the quieter they are, the more dangerous....

The thing is there is no doubt at all that he flirts because I know -- with proof. But whether, knowing that he is an unrepentant and compulsive flirt (with some women I know personally --damn him!), I'd want to remain in our relationship.

I hate myself for realising this side of Antonio only the last couple of years. How could I believe him so when there were signs already.

There was a time, I was told by a close friend that Antonio pulled her to sit beside him during a performance by a singer at a club.

She told me quite casually, but in detail. At that time my relationship with Antonio was not high-profile yet.

When I asked him about it, he took pains to convince me that it ncver happened that way, that this friend of mine, was really imagining it all or that she she simply fibbing. Well, my friend has a habit of exaggerating things.

So, I believed him.

Yet, on another occasion, someone told me about how this PR girl who "was sitting so close to Antonio at the club that she was "almost sitting on his lap"!!!!! I was so funimg inside and I asked him and, yes, you've guessed it. Antonio vehemently denied it and accused this person of really dramatizing the scenario.
And, of course, it didn't help that this person was also prone to a lot of exaggeration.

Thing is, Antonio and I have a fantastic relationship. But, I happened to havbe found out about his shenanigans behind my back. His little up-to-no-good habit of flirting with females. Not all, though.

I get the feeling that Antonio can't help flirting.

He'd flirt in his first line in a message to whoever the girl maybe. I am convinced he is a pathaological flirt. He doesn't arrange to meet up with guys, If he does, then it's a simple "see you at ****".

But with women, it's something like "hey, let me share cofffee with you sometime."

A message between him and a babe he'd just met would be:

Babe: Hi, Antonio, nice to see you last night.

Antonio: Mmmm, it was nicer for me to see you. Whatcha doing? Do you always wear jeans?

Babe: Yeah, why?

Antonio: Would love to see what's inside them. Whatcha doing?

Babe: Oh...having coffee.

Antonio: Mmmm, must be nice having your coffee with you.

Now, this is about the mildest I can give as an example. But, you get the drift.

Is it harmless?

I don't know. If a guy I've just met send me that kind of messages, I'd think he's one horny bastard.

Am I a prude?

I digress.

It is so damn hard to say goodbye.

A Leopard Never Changes Its Spots

Neither does a randy dog.

The thing about proverbs is that they were coined for a reason -- or several good reasons.

Take this one about a leopard, for instance. I so want to challenge it but, hell, it is oh-so-true. Statistically speaking.

Never mind about my own experience. Take my friend, Sofia and her long-term relationship.

She has been involved with this son-of-B for more than a decade. I have told her to leave him. But she won't because -- well, she loves him and he loves her.

Now, before I mislead you. Let me be clear. Let's call her man, Rafael. Without a doubt, he loves her. Adores her.

He had quite a reputation before they got together and went rock-steady.

She believed and still does and that's because he convinced her -- that he is BASICALLY faithful to her and has been all these years.

Like me, she "caught" Rafael flirting - in every sense of the word -- in emails/smses/facebook -- with women, some of whom are known to her.

How did she know? Well, she said it's a small world. She was told by a young woman who did not know that Rafael was her man, that he's "gatal". His "messages" to her were always laced with flirtatious undertones. More like overtones. Very over the tone.

Sofia can be funny when she's angry.

How was he "gatal", I asked.

Oh, he's always sending signals like saying she's got sexy legs and let's have coffee at BSC blah blah blah. You'd think that he's footloose and fancy-free.

Another instance was when a mutual friend told Rafael in an email that she missed "you guys" at such-and-such a place as she had not been there in a long while, his reply was -- "you guys? why not just 'you'?". "You" is Rafael. If you know what I mean.

Hmmm....very familiar trick.

This mutual friend was wondering whether Sofia was still with Rafael, seeing that he's kinda giving her the come-on. She asked Sofia and told her why. In fact showed Sofia the message.

Sofia said that that was Rafael's way of being cute and sweet to friends. Inside, she was seething.

I told Sofia not to make a habit of believing people.

"But I saw the message," she retorted.

Anyway, she hissed, that's not the point. He flirts. He is "gatal".

Deep down, I wondered, whether she had known that all along.

Sofia said she never does these things that he is so prone to enjoy doing. She never flirts.

Thre's more.

He has called a certain woman, "sexy girl".

Another instance, he had made arrangements to "meet" an American friend.

Sofia did ask him about this American friend's visit. Whether he was in touch with her. He denied. Played dumb and was so cool about it.

Sofia knew about it because this American friend had also been emailing her and told her about Rafael's "offer to meet up".

So, why did he have to lie?

I told Sofia because a leopard never changes its spots.

"Then he is a liar. He swears he's never done all that. But behind me, he's flirting like a randy dog," she wept.

That's okay, Sofia. That randy dog loves you. And, most importantly, you love that randy dog.

But, if you find it in yourself, the strength to leave him -- DO IT!

Yeah, yeah...I'm a fine one to be preaching!

About Men.....

I hardly go out evenings.

But last evening, I accompanied Antonio to a wedding -- of a friend's son.

It was at the Sheraton Subang. It's been quite some time since I've been there. I live on the other side of the Klang Valley so the Subang area is not an area I frequent. In fact, it is an area I avoid.
Never had a good traveling experience there.

So, it was with a heavy heart that I agreed to accompany Antonio to the wedding reception.

On the way to Subang, Antonio gave a run-down on this friend of his. I kinda know of the guy, heard of him but, oddly enough, had never met him. After all, I know most of Antonio's friends.

This father of the groom was a journalist who got rich for being a political nominee of someone back in the mid 80s.

He left the country to stay in the UK after a certain political leader was sacked and jailed.

Antonio was being ever so kind when talking about this guy but from what I gathered, this guy is no better than a political prostitute.

But, hey...I'm just a witch.

The groom is an accountant working in London and the bride is a doctor practicing in the UK. They both met in the UK.

What I shall be talking about is the father of the bride himself.

When I arrived at the entrance of the ballroom, I thought the host of the evening had a very young wife. She looked like she was in her late 20s or early 30s.

He looked like he was -- old. Kinda old enough to be her dad.

Listening to his speech at the end of the evening, I found out that this was his second marriage. His first wife -- the mother of the groom -- died of cancer about two years ago.

He spoke about his re-marrying when dishing out advice to his son and newly-acquired daugher-in-law.

His first marriage was a love marriage. The second -- "through a broker", he remarked. I guess he meant it was an arranged marriage.

Now this father of the groom --- a northerner from Penang (like his political master) had everyone in stitches. Including moi. Antonio was so beside himself that he had to take sips of the syrup drink. Aaah....for that cold cold Heinneken!

The lady beside me had to ask this question -- why do men never hesitate to get a replacement after their wife dies?

I smiled. I replied -- "you know....some don't even wait for their wives to die."

And Antonio who was listening, did not know where to look. He attempted a smile which turned into a lop-sided grin.

And the lady in question, roared with laughter and remarked: "Hahaa....men!"

Now, that's what I call a great sense of humour.

You Lucky Lucky KIds!

You betcha!

When I was growing up a teenager in Kuala Lumpur, there were not many places to go shopping.

We had Robinson's at Jalan Mountbatten (now Jalan Tun Perak), The Weld and a few boutiques here and there.

Then when I was in college, we had Ampang Shopping Complex, Wisma Central, Pertama and Campbell and much much later, Yow Chuan Plaza.

The thing is, these were nowhere near what teenagers have today! Just look at the choices now!

And the cinemas! Love what we have today!

I loved going to the movies those days. Especially with my sisters and girlfriends. How odd to say this. But I avoid going dating to the movies. Difficult to focus and concentrate.

I traveled abroad for holidays regularly as a teenager. So let me tell you that Malaysia has come a long way!

You kids just don't know how lucky you are!

(Please note that this posting is about a very light subject.)

Another Year, Another Day!

Me and Antonio -- oh you know him...the love of my life -- just celebrated our anniversary. We've been together like over a decade. Like, that long? Yeah, baby, that long.

Seems like just yesterday that we started out. Ours was intense from the start. Just as intense, now? Well. yeah.....sometimes.

The fire still there? Er...I'm sure it's there somewhere. But do you really need to have that fire? I mean, let's face it....the fire is not as hot but it does not mean that the relationship is cold and dead. Does it?

Don't think so.

I'm gonna just overturn all that psycho crap about what a relationship must have for it to survive till eternity.....

It's not true that sex is everything in a relationship. It is important....I think that's when you know whether the fire is still burning.

Physical intimacy is important.

Communication is not the engine that drives the relationship. Don't believe it that when you're together you're supposed to talk and talk and talk to each other. NAAAH....So not true.

And yes yes yes.....you have to keep fit and healthy so that you can cope with everything that's important to you. And you will not want to die - pffft -- before him. Or do you?

Ok...that's enough.

You know that I don't trust Antonio 100 per cent. My mama ( God bless her soul/May she rest in peace) told me never ever give your man 100 per cent -- not yourself, and not your trust.
She said that because you do not want to be disillusioned, disappointed that can lead to you being either homicidal or suicidal. Ok...the last bit is mine.

But, you know what, mama. It still doesn't work. I don't give Antonio 100 per cent and I can still feel a depth of disillusionment, disappointment and oooh.....betrayal. But I am not homicidal nor suicidal.

Heck. And hell. I still love the bastard!

Trying To Be A Mat Salleh

I'm going to sound like a real bitch. Can't help thinking aloud about how Malaysian women -- be they Chinese, Malay or Indian -- try hard to be so Mat Salleh when they have a Mat Salleh as their partner, hubby or whatever.

I'm going to generalise here but I do believe I have some basis for drawing such a conclusion.

I have been people-watching lately which is something I happen to do when I'm just with my latte for company.

Do you have any idea how mixed the next generation of Malaysians will be. Ok, I am exaggerating. At least, if these campur kids whose parents decide to stay put in the Klang Valley, are any indication.

I counted in one hour I was at Coffee Bean in Bangsar, more than 10 mixed couples -- local women and Mat Salleh partners -- some of whom were with children.

What really caught my eye was how these women either had their hair dyed blonde or shade of that, might as well have been naked or have that "exotic" look.

I swear one of the Mat Salleh guys must have married his maid. Please, I'm not being judgmental or mean. I have no opinion of anyone marrying their maid, unless of course he is already married which means that he was screwing the maid behind his wife's back before dumping his wife to marry the maid. But, that is another story.

Now, this guy's partner really looked like a maid --- my maid, my sister's maid, my other sister's maid, my brother's maid, my mom's maid.....

But, no. She was neither Indonesian nor Filipina. Overheard their conversation, She was Malay.

But oh you know what I mean.

So why do these women all try to be whiter than white. As though it's part of the deal. You have to look like a Mat Salleh...or their idea of a Mat Salleh.

But ok. Here's the thing. The Mat Salleh guys with these women? Ummm.....Naaah...I think these guys (to these women) must be really nice people with great personality, rich (that's, of course, subjective), or simply great in bed.

Or just that their skin is white.

I know of Malaysian women who'd fall for a Mat Salleh. Any Mat Salleh as long as he is a Mat Salleh.

Orang putih.

Sex Education For Young Malaysians...

I've always been receptive to the idea of sex education in school but I am realistic because I have little faith and confidence in our teachers to carry out this task.

Look around you. For a very long time, our school education system has not been conducive for this kind of subject.

So, I have long forgotten about the need to educate our young on sex and issues relating to it.

I learnt about sex by myself through a lot of reading.

Now, I see that the government will be including sex education in the national service programme.

I read about it here and here.

I think it's good. But I am still skeptical about the efficiency, capability and ability of the NS instructors.

My question is -- why in the national service programme?

You know what? I'll give them a fair chance but I am doubtful that they can pull this one off.

When It's Time To Discard Your "Best Friend"(s)...

I know that diamonds are not my best friends since I'm not particularly crazy about these stones. But I know that they are for many women.

And they are usually given as presents from one's boyfriend, husband or partner.

When the relationship breaks up, I suppose those precious stones don't mean nothing no more, huh? It's really over when the stones are "out the window", eh?

Now, that's why -- except for that ONE rock given by Antonio -- I don't have no precious memory in no precious stone. I buy my own, thank you very much.

Here's an interesting article, "When Diamonds Become Girls' Worst Friends" :

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Diamonds may be forever. But what's a girl to do when she gets dumped or divorced and those rings, necklaces and love gifts lose their emotional sparkle?

Help is just a click away on new Web sites that provide an outlet for selling jewelry from past relationships, sharing break-up stories and helping broken hearts heal.

"You go through a divorce. What do you do with that ring? Maybe you have a child you can pass it on to. Maybe you don't. It just sits there," said Marie Perry, who with her stepdaughter Megahn Perry runs www.exboyfriendjewelry.com.

"We wanted to create a platform in the community where people can get in contact with others with similar needs," Perry told Reuters.

more.......

Widespread Baby-Selling In Vietnam?

True or an exaggeration?

According to the Associated Press, weaknesses in Vietnam's adoption system has allowed corruption, fraud and baby-selling to flourish.

AP, in a nine-page document describes brokers scouring villages for babies, hospitals selling infants whose mothers cannot pay their bills, and a grandmother giving away her grandchild — without telling the child's mother.

Read the full story here.

Say What?

I thought I'd not be touching on post-elections chatter anymore.

But, the headlines today caught me.

Prime Minister Pak Lah is blaming Umno saboteurs for the Barisan Nasional's humiliating performance in the general election! ??

What's the matter with him? What an idiot! Did someone make him say that?

I must have been mistaken when I heard him say that he was listening to the voices of the people! That he'd try to right whatever that was wrong that caused the rakyat to despise the Barisan Nasional.

Have we all been had by this poor excuse of a leader?

Pathetic! He's going to go down so hard, he wouldn't know what hit him.

Oh...go to sleep, Pak Lah!

After The Affair....

I don't know how some people do it but for me, it will be so difficult to regain trust and intimacy after finding out that my partner had an affair. Infidelity would most certainly mar our relationship.

Apparently, recent statistics in Australia have shown that young people are cheating on their significant others in record rates.
A recent survey performed in Australia has found that one-third of people aged 18 to 25 have cheated on their romantic partners.

I don't know how to handle the relationship after this type of heartbreak.

Rant and rave? Keep to myself? Kill him?

Or be like Cheryl Cole, singer of British pop group, Girls Aloud, who was said to have taken back her cheating husband on one condition: No sex for six months!

Hmmm....dunno whether that will work. No intimacy when that's what we need most aint gonna work, I tell ya.

Love expert Dr Laura Berman has offered some better techniques for repairing after the affair? I am quoting her.

The truth must come out. Whether it is a cyber affair or a relationship with a co-worker, straying partners need to come clean about the entirety of their extramarital relationships. In the case of Cheryl and Ashley, he allegedly cheated on her with three different women. If this hits close to home, take the safe road and fess up to your affairs completely. Whether or not your partner will forgive you is up in the air -- but at least the truth will finally be out.

Avoid gory details. While it is crucial to be honest with your partner, try to avoid being too graphic or explicit with the details. Yes, your partner needs to know that you cheated on him with the next-door neighbor, but he doesn't need to know minute details about the sack sessions. Your partner will already be replaying the possible scenes in his head -- the last thing he needs is extra details to fill in the blanks of his worst nightmare.

Limit the amount of outbursts. When couples encounter infidelity in their relationships, the betrayed partner often has a free-for-all in which their anger and pain is unleashed upon the guilty partner daily. While the guilty partner certainly deserves some of this feedback, couples should be careful to avoid a situation in which the infidelity becomes bigger than the relationship itself. The betrayed partner should limit their grievances and lashing out to 10 minutes, and then agree to let the matter lie for the rest of the day. Thus, the guilty partner will not feel constantly attacked and the betrayed partner will not wallow in pain every minute of the day.

Discover why the cheating occurred. Infidelity can occur for many reasons, but perhaps the most common reason is a need to feel special, loved, and attractive. Don't get me wrong, there is no excuse for cheating. But if someone is cheating, it often suggests deeper problems within the relationship. Discovering these reasons, either with or without a couples' therapist, is a necessary first step on the road to healing a broken relationship.

As long as both members of the couple are committed to improving the relationship and weathering the storm, repairing after an affair is possible. As the Bard once said, "the course of true love never did run smooth," so perhaps this scary bout with infidelity will only serve as a road bump on you and your partner's path to happily ever after.

Laura, dahling.....easy for you to say! But thanks, anyway.

Facebook Fanatics!

Isn't Facebook Fenomenal? It's a totally new world that Facebook has introduced to millions of netizens across the globe.

But, with this amazing product are little problems here and there.

Read this:

SAN FRANCISCO - A security lapse made it possible for unwelcome strangers to peruse personal photos posted on Facebook Inc.'s popular online hangout, circumventing a recent upgrade to the Web site's privacy controls.

The Associated Press verified the loophole Monday after receiving a tip from a Byron Ng, a Vancouver, Canada computer technician. Ng began looking for security weaknesses last week after Facebook unveiled more ways for 67 million members to restrict access to their personal profiles.

But the added protections weren't enough to prevent Ng from pulling up the most recent pictures posted by Facebook members and their friends, even if the privacy settings were set to restrict the audience to a select few.

After being alerted Monday afternoon, Facebook spokeswoman Brandee Barker said the Palo Alto-based company fixed the bug within an hour.

"We take privacy very seriously and continue to make enhancements to the site," she said.

The latest lapse serves as another reminder of the perils of sharing sensitive photos and personal information online, even when Web sites pledge to shield the information from prying eyes.

The full story.

Oh Antonio!

Oh, my darling....did you have to lie over something so small?
I know you were in touch with this woman who is really not someone I'd be worried about.
I know because she told me. And you had to lie...
Why? Were you so afraid that I'd be jealous?
Or, you had plans to....take her to bed?
I'm so disappointed, my darling Antonio.
And I am so sorry that you are such a ball-less liar.

I had been giving you some room...now I really cannot trust you. You are not worthy of my love, my trust and my respect.

I asked you casually....and with a straight face (though I could not see as we were on the phone but I'd imagine you wearing that straight face, unflinching). you said "no...". No, you had not been in touch with this woman and made a swift change of topic.

Didn't you know that I would have already been in contact with her and she had told me that she had been in touch with you about her "working visit" to Malaysia?
You dumbass.

You're an asshole, Antonio.

You've always been an asshole and a liar, my darling Antonio.

Remember how you denied your liaison with that (younger) woman in 2004 -- 2005.
You were carrying on, flirting in your email with her.
You so wanted to know how I knew. Did that matter?
Someone showed me your little indiscretion -- you know those email exchanges.
A friend of hers who happens to know me well.

You lied about her then, and you lied about this woman.

So, ladies...here's a piece of advice.
Never ever ask your husband/lover if they had ever slept with anyone else or had ever been unfaithful.
They will NEVER EVER tell you the truth. NEVER.

If you can stomache the truth or just for the heck of it to satisfy your suspicion, do your own little investigation, like me.
I am lucky, most times, the information comes to me by chance. Always, a coincidence.

I have found out many little things about Antonio.
He can't fool me.
Hah! I even know where he does what!

Oh, Antonio. What an assshole you are!
Now I can never ever trust you. And that's not good, for you.

UNBELIEVABLE!

I managed to vote on Saturday March 8 in KL and then I had to fly off somewhere far.
I was so anxious to know the results.
As soon as I arrived, and after I checked into the hotel, I surfed the net and tried to log on to MalaysiaToday and Malaysiakini.
Oh boy! it was tough. Couldn't wait. So impatient.
Made some calls and was told the results.

UNBELIEVABLE!
INCREDIBLE!

I was responsible (and a few thousands of us) for the Opposition's victory in my constituency. And where I live, that's a strong Barisan Nasional territory.

I'm no political analyst but I think the message is so clear.

What happened to the political calculation that "the BN will win anyway, so let's juts give a few votes to the Opposition".

It was a TSUNAMI!

Well, the new state governments should learn from the mistakes of the arrogant BN government!
So, make no mistake, the people are watching your every move.

You Can't Fool Me!

How dare you assume that I am so stupid as to believe all the cliched propoganda!

Like I'd be gambling my future if I vote for the Opposition. Or that only the Barisan Nasional can ensure prosperity.

How dare you?

You Mean Nobody Ever Told

the Prime Minister that his son-in-law is his biggest liability?

You mean he has to be told that it's not on to have your son-in-law drop your name everywhere to get ahead?

And those ECM Libra shares. Ouch!

Oh dear.

Stupid is as stupid does.

Ain't Gonna Be Duped No More....

That was what my cousin told me last night.
She voted for the Barisan Nasional in the last general election because she thought that the government would continue improving the country.

"How wrong I was," she lamented.

She said that in the last four years, all that had been announced were mega projects which went to a few people close to the PM.
Trickling-down, spill-over effect? A load of sh**!
Certainly not down to the rakyat.

And this KJ factor.
Is the PM's son-in-law a very influential figure in his life?

You betcha, my cousin said. She knows this for a fact.
But it is just too tedious to relate it in this blog.

"I voted for the BN not to have the business of the government to be run by a wet-behind-the-ears boy and his buddies.
"Not to have the PM gallivanting around the globe.
"It is a betrayal of the highest order. And I will not have that."

Well, she didn't say that she was going to vote for the Opposition but she said that she ain't no sucker no more.....

Follow The Pedo Link...

I read in the blogs that a 25 year-old Malaysian pilot was convicted and fined in an Adelaide Court on Friday for storing 3 video files of CHILD or KIDDIE PORN in his laptop.
Ahmad Said, married and a father of 2, claimed innocence. What else? Was he going to say, yes yes, they were mine and I love watching kiddie porn.

He said those files were e-mailed to him.
So...why did you still have them stored, you pervert?

Don't you remember Nurin Jazlin? Don't you remember Nini?

Do you not feel their pain? Our pain, you disgusting piece of crap.

The whole country was never the same again after Nurin was found dead and brutalised. And you have kiddie porn in your laptop.

BAAAH! Off with your head! And I mean your head!

Ahmad's wife is expecting their third child. Oh...mercy mercy.

I SEE A LINK BETWEEN HIS VIDEO FILES AND NURIN AS WELL AS OUR MISSING KIDS.

Ok. So I maybe over-reacting. But, what have we got to lose if we check this guy out?

The police should be on his trail. I'd be bloody surprised if they don't.
It should be uppermost in their minds that there is a possible link.

Five year-old Sharlinie (Nini) has been missing for far too long.
I hope the police will NOT GET OFF HIS BACK....even if his father is a big shot.

AND I HOPE HE GETS THE SACK from his employer, Malaysia Airlines.

What's The Right Road to Take?

I'm hardly a political person. Never thought much about politics because I'm a very contented person.
Rightly or wrongly, our controversial former Prime Minister Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamed had brought so much to the country.
We have enjoyed the fruits of his labour.
I know that sounds corny for his detractors but really...Malaysia was so NOT known two decades ago.
When he became PM, we were known.
Of course, we were also known for all the wrong reasons.
As I have said, I'm hardly political. But, I seem to be so drawn to the political development in the country.
And I've come to realise that politics seep into everything we do. Our bread and butter.
I can't fight for the judiciary. Let the judges fight for that. Ok ok, the lawyers too.
(Frankly, I believe that if it is about justice, it is about the judges. And if they are not corrupt, then everything's ok.)

So...having said that. I think I will vote in the election.
I am a registered voter but I have never exercised my right.
This time Il most certainly will.
Because I see terrible things around me. I see greedy people who are taking things for themselves.

But, I am a realist for I do not see any dramatic change taking place even if I do not vote for those ugly representatives of the greedy and arrogant national coalition.

The government elected will still be the one and the same.

Still, every vote counts!

Oh, The Asian Blondes..

I don't get it. Why do you need to colour your hair BLONDE and wear the skimpiest top and the tightest pants just because you have a Mat Salleh on your arm?
Why?
I'm kind of a people-watcher so I do notice things.
I was at Bangsar Village having lunch at Bakerzine with Antonio and I saw, no fewer than eight mixed couples -- all Mat Salleh GUYs with either a Malay or Indian partner/wife.
I mean, I'm all for mixed marriages or mixed relationships. Makes for a better world, I always say.
I ain't complaining. Just an observation -- the Mat Salleh guys would be themselves, of course. Mat Salleh.
But their Asian girlfriend or wife would most certainly have blonde or light brunette coloured hair and would be wearing -- well, they might as well not be wearing anything.
Ok ok. That is so exaggerated. But really, these silly women more often than not, would be in very skimpy tops.

That used to baffle me.
Ok. So I lied.
I do get it.
I do know why these silly women have undergone such a make-over to make them look closer to their partner.

They have to re-assure their Mat Salleh partner that they're going with HIS flow. That they do want to be a Mat Salleh.
Like as though saying : sorry, darling for my flat nose but that makes me oh-so exotic, don't it and that's why you fell in love with me.
Or sorry, for my dusky skin.

You can repair that flat nose. Perhaps even lighten your skin.
Better -- dye that hair of yours so you can really look like a Mat Salleh.
At least from the back.
You see, I did a little research. It's not conclusive but it has kinda explained to me why these women would want to look more Mat Salleh than a Mat Salleh.

Yeah. They try so hard, it's pathetic.

I figure that it's like this.
More often than not, these girls are not from well-to-do families so when they've snared a Mat Salleh, they're not about to let him go.
You know, the promise of a better life....
So -- they'll do all it takes to keep their Orang Putih love.

Of course, this is a generalisation.
There are very independent and secure women who have fallen in love with foreigners (read:Mat Salleh).
But strange, these women (some of whom I know personally), don't try to be any different than they were before they met their partners.

For other women not like them -- all that it takes. All that it takes to keep their man.

Let's Not Give Up...

Poor little Sharlinie.
I pray that you're safe, my darling.

We will find you.
The angels are your companion, did you know that, honey?

Nuraina has Sharlinie in her prayers. Click Jalan Sudin here.

OnceThere Was a Little Baby....

Read this. I'm so sick already.

DAYTON, Ohio (AP) -- Jury selection began Monday in the trial of a woman accused of killing her 1-month-old daughter by burning the child in a microwave oven.
If convicted of aggravated murder, China Arnold, 27, could face the death penalty.
Investigators believe Arnold killed 1-month-old Paris Talley by putting her in a microwave at her home.
Arnold's attorneys argue she had nothing to do with the baby's death in 2005.
Coroner's officials have said the baby suffered high-heat internal injuries and had no external burns.
They have ruled out scalding water, open flame or other possible causes of death that could have damaged the skin.
Defense attorney Jon Paul Rion has said Arnold had nothing to do with her daughter's death and was stunned when investigators told her that a microwave might have been involved. Arnold took the baby to the hospital after finding her unconscious and does not know how she died, Rion said.
During a pretrial hearing in July, police Detective Michael Galbraith said Arnold told him she arrived home in the early morning hours after drinking, fell asleep and was awakened at 2:30 a.m. by the baby's crying.
She said she warmed a bottle in the microwave oven, tried to give it to the baby, changed the child's diaper and then fell asleep on the couch with the baby on her chest.
Arnold said she and her children were the only ones in the apartment until her boyfriend arrived several hours later and noticed something was wrong with the baby.
Galbraith said Arnold told him: "If I hadn't gotten so drunk, I guess my baby wouldn't have died."
When cross-examined by Rion, Galbraith acknowledged that Arnold told him she did not know how the baby suffered the burns and that she had nothing to do with it that she could recall.
Earlier this month, defense witness Robert Belloto, a staff pharmacist at Good Samaritan Hospital, testified he does not believe it would have been possible for Arnold to place the baby in the microwave because the woman was so intoxicated.
Belloto said Arnold told him she had consumed about 40 percent of a pint of high-proof rum in 90 minutes.
But he acknowledged that he had no other corroboration for her claim.

She is innocent until proven guilty. But....the poor baby.

Searching for Sharlinie

I've been a self-centred slut lately. Only thinking of and about myself and my needs.
There's a missing little girl out there, for crying out loud!
Five year-ol Sharlinie Mohd Nashar or Nini has been in the news since day one of her disappearance. That was on January 9.
I think that is really good that action had been swift to locate her from the start. So far removed from how Nurin Jazlin's disappearance was treated last year.
I do think a lot about how Nurin could have been saved if we had applied the same strategy. Still....we have not found Nini. So, there's no telling what or when....

On my part, I've been a lot more busy-bodyish. I've been looking over my shoulder. Over other people's shoulders. Listening into conversations of people at the next table in case they're discussing a certain little girl.
I've been looking inside cars as I pass them in the supermarket parking area or anywhere. Yeah....as though anyone would keep a little girl in a car while they go shopping.
Well...who knows?
I aint taking chances.

But it's good to see that Nini is still in the news. From what I've been told, it looks like the bloggers' idea of NURIN Alert is underway, though not formally.

Me? I'll stop bitching about how life sucks or how my sex life could be better. Oh...of how Antonio could love me more...

Crap, crap, crap.

There's a frightened little girl somewhere in a not very nice place with very very evil people.

To little Sharlinie -- we'll find you, sweetie. We'll find you.
And when we find you........

Ignorance Is Really Bliss

I have learnt, for a very long time, that this is just so true.
Ladies...what you don't know won't hurt you. So, don't ask questions if you cannot accept the answers.
But let me tell you that most times -- rather all the time -- your man will never tell the truth. Either way -- you not being able to bear with the truth or you being lied to with only answers you want to hear -- it's so sad.

So never ask your man these questions:

1. Have you been faithful/unfaithful to me?
2. Have you slept with another woman?
3. Are you in an intimate relationship with anyone else?
4. Are you in love with someone else?

He will never tell you the truth.
Why should he? He maybe unfaithful but he is not stupid!

First and foremost, these questions are often asked when you have that nagging feeling or that sneaking suspicion that your man has been up to no good.
Even in my case when I had proof.
As an example, only recently, my Antonio denied, in his most convincing gentle straight-faced even-toned voice that, no he was not in touch with XXX.
It was a question that arose in a light-hearted conversation about someone. XXX came into the picture.
I did not assume an accusing tone. Just a simple question asked in the most casual tone. A swift denial. If I had not known the truth, I would have readily believed.
The point was, I knew the truth. So, was and is Antonio a lying bastard for telling that little white lie?
I don't know his reason but I reckon he didn't want to get into having to elaborate something pretty innocuous and his fear (yes, his fear) that I would badger him for details and get so carried away, it would be disastrous.
The fact was that I know that it was nothing. But he chose the easy way out. Lie.
But why was I sure that he lied?
Well, I know they were in touch, though not seriously as in seeing each other. I guess, not yet.
But, very reliable sources told me that, yes they were. No details.
I am guessing through SMSes.
Does it matter how? They were in touch!
Of course I have questions. But, never mind. I choose to put all that aside.
But it keeps me wondering.....how far will he go this time?

So, back to my point that you should not ask questions about your man's "other" life.

You know, men are good liars.
So, don't ask them questions for which you'll get lies.

Be happy! And trust me...ignorance is bliss.

Aaah....

Hope this year will be better.