Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Cheers! To A Blissful Marriage...


Wonder never ceases.

Every now and again, you get these things in the newspapers and magazines. In the internet, it's all over the place. Everywhere.

You get experts tell you how to keep your man. Always this would have to lead to sex, sex and sex. Pleasing your man is a major factor in this scheme of things. So if you know how to please your man, he's yours for keeps.

Of course, this marriage thing. How to have a long blissful marriage.

I take all the advice with a sackful of salt.

Easier said than done.

I was reading The Star this morning, and THIS caught my eye.

10 tips for a blissful relationship.

I'll republish it here:

See whether the tips are familiar and whether they're easier said than done.

1. Learn the gentle art of cooperation.
Related to wanting to be right, competition in a marriage is corrosive - it eats away at all the good stuff.

2.If you are going to compete, compete together to have the very best marriage you can have.

3. Talk about the important stuff. Most couples spend more time planning a vacation than they do planning for their relationship. Create a relationship vision by asking: "If we could have it exactly like we want, how would it be?" Build from there. If you get stuck, ask or hire someone to help.

4. Forgive as much or more than you would like to be forgiven. Sometimes forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, especially when you do not feel like it. Forgiveness can release you from the pain of the offense.

5. Celebrate what you want to see more of. Appreciation can go a long way.

7. Don't be a Darren Stevens. In the old sitcom "Bewitched," Samantha merely had to wiggle her nose to make incredible things happen. Darren was always trying to get her to stop using her magical powers.

Even as a little kid, I thought the guy was nuts. He could have had anything he wanted. Instead he tried to get Sam to stifle her gifts. Encourage your partner in her gifts.

8. Check out your communication. While it's easy for two people to talk to each other, sometimes it is more difficult to really communicate with each other. Practice these two sentences: "What I think you're saying is . . . did I miss anything?" and "Please, tell me what you think I just said."

9. Take responsibility for your contributions to the struggle. We've yet to see a relationship problem that didn't have two sets of fingerprints all over it. Yet, we tend to focus on what the other person is doing. "If only you would . . . .,then everything would be OK."

One of the quickest paths to frustration and failure is to try to change someone else. Take responsibility to change your contribution to the problem, whether it's what you are doing and/or how you respond to what your partner is doing.

10. Don't assume that just because you are married, you know how to be married. Pay attention to what works for other couples. Read all you can. Go to seminars. Everybody needs a coach. Find one. It's a lot less expensive than divorce, financially and emotionally.

You know... when you think about, these tips definitely are helpful. Then again, it's not something you don't already know.
It's just that we go through life without thinking in our heads "ok, I'll do this because this will make my marriage work".

Oh. Whatever. Maybe one day, I'll come out with my own manual.

Meow!

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