I'm going to sound like a real bitch. Can't help thinking aloud about how Malaysian women -- be they Chinese, Malay or Indian -- try hard to be so Mat Salleh when they have a Mat Salleh as their partner, hubby or whatever.
I'm going to generalise here but I do believe I have some basis for drawing such a conclusion.
I have been people-watching lately which is something I happen to do when I'm just with my latte for company.
Do you have any idea how mixed the next generation of Malaysians will be. Ok, I am exaggerating. At least, if these campur kids whose parents decide to stay put in the Klang Valley, are any indication.
I counted in one hour I was at Coffee Bean in Bangsar, more than 10 mixed couples -- local women and Mat Salleh partners -- some of whom were with children.
What really caught my eye was how these women either had their hair dyed blonde or shade of that, might as well have been naked or have that "exotic" look.
I swear one of the Mat Salleh guys must have married his maid. Please, I'm not being judgmental or mean. I have no opinion of anyone marrying their maid, unless of course he is already married which means that he was screwing the maid behind his wife's back before dumping his wife to marry the maid. But, that is another story.
Now, this guy's partner really looked like a maid --- my maid, my sister's maid, my other sister's maid, my brother's maid, my mom's maid.....
But, no. She was neither Indonesian nor Filipina. Overheard their conversation, She was Malay.
But oh you know what I mean.
So why do these women all try to be whiter than white. As though it's part of the deal. You have to look like a Mat Salleh...or their idea of a Mat Salleh.
But ok. Here's the thing. The Mat Salleh guys with these women? Ummm.....Naaah...I think these guys (to these women) must be really nice people with great personality, rich (that's, of course, subjective), or simply great in bed.
Or just that their skin is white.
I know of Malaysian women who'd fall for a Mat Salleh. Any Mat Salleh as long as he is a Mat Salleh.
Orang putih.
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5 comments:
witch,
you know what....i have seen these couples. however, i see that most of the mat salleh men are very old and thei wives or partners or whatever are younger but middle-aged. and yep...some of these men must have married their maids...
it is the younger women who are noticeably and decidely trying hard to be like their mat salleh partners.
now, if i were to be with a mat salleh, he'd probably end up being so malaysian.
gypsy,
i know of a girl from a lower-income group, attractive in an exotic way. I'd say she looks like a Javanese native -- she became a model, and tried so hard to wipe out her background.
so she made sure she moved in the right circle and got herself a Mat Salleh husband.
She must have been so ashamed of her own heritage....or simply her "humble" beginnings an background.
Poor thing.,
and i dont understand why our women and also some men likes to change their hair color. black is beauty...it matches with our skin tone and eye color. look at those bollywood actresses with their jet black hair - so exotic man!
KC,
you're right!
but these people i think worship the idea of looking like an orang putih!
Witch,
Before I got married, I was experimenting highlights and dyeing my hair because I started graying at 21 - it is in the genes. :) Anyway, once I was back on holiday (after marriage to a Mat Salleh and living overseas), this so called friend asked me why did I have to change my hair colour just because I married a white man. I think that was rather presumptious of him when he did not know that I have been dyeing my hair for years ... long before I met my husband. (I was born with dark brown hair and I have never gone blonde. Is brown to medium brown with chestnut hightlights a crime?):)
Sure, some women try to forget their backgrounds but I think it is unfair to assume that all women are like that (you generalised). There are a nice bunch of Malaysian lady bloggers I know who are married to mat sallehs and still keep their identities and hair colour (with exception to those who have been playing with colouring before they met their partners).
I agree what gypsy said "..it is the younger women who are noticeably and decidedly trying hard .. "
I think people who change to suit another basically do not know themselves (and this usually happens when one is young and trying to find one's identity). Just like some people who try to conform to Hollywood or music industry stars. This 'trying to be mat salleh' is no different to some of our guys who think they are from the Bronx. They act, speak and dress up like one. How about ditching that front and just be themselves? But no.. they think they are cool when they do that. :)
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