Do you have days or nights when you think about your past? About what might have been, what could have been if you had made that one decision about your love and life?
I have many of those days and nights. Not because I am unhappy with my life. Far from it.
I think it's because I am just that sort of person whose mind is full of thoughts and (wild?) imagination, of course.
And not because I always think about or dwell on my past. Not at all.
I often sink into moments of reverie. The past always ambles in, taking a big part in these reflections.
And then, I start thinking of certain central characters in my past life.
I wonder about each one of them. What if I had decided to not let go of any one of them?
What would my life be now?
These moments almost always come when Antonio's indiscretions visit me. Or when I am convinced of his infidelity.
That is when I think I must hold back a lot of my love to be able to get a good perspective of my love and my lovelife.
When a woman is just sooo in love with her man, she is just sooo blind to ...well.... to anything about him.
Man, when she is in lurve, he can do no wrong, can he?
So, I figure that I have to get a reality check regularly. I tell myself how easy it is for someone like moi to slip and slide, to not see, to be blind and blinded.
Meanwhile, when those moments of the past come fleeting by, just reflect. You can never bring back the past.
I am sure we all agree that there is no benefit from dreaming about what could have been, except if we could learn from the mistakes we made.
Still, if the memories are good. Dream and dream. Meow.
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8 comments:
everyone has such moments one time or another. we all make mistakes... just need to learn from it.
to make a mistake is a folly... to repeat a mistake will make you a fool....
oh, by the way, there are a lot of 'what could've been' in my mind right now.... what could've been if i bought that shares earlier... hahahahahaha... in line with the sudden market rush.
i zewt,
hahaa...now that you've mentioned it... there is a "what couldve been" for me, much like what could've been if u had bought those shares...
can slap myself sometimes,just thinking about that.
cheers, zewt and happy chinese new year to you!
i used to dwell in the past a lot. mostly back to when i was 15 where everything was just perfect. i had great friends in a new school where i met my best friend. it was basically the best year of my life.
i try not to reminisce too much because it stops me from living in the now. i was talking to my wife just last night about some of the crazier times of my life. it brought back memories of this girl (i think she's worthy of a blog entry soon cos' i really feel that i've done her wrong). Anyway, it got me thinking of what might have been and i had to stop that thought because it's dangerous sometimes to try and conjure up some fantasy in one's mind. I think that's why people always remember their first love and I read somewhere that statistically, if that first love (male) comes back to rekindle a relationship with a woman, chances of him succeeding is very high. So, it's better to put the mind in the now to create a better future by using the experiences of the past.
flaminglambo,
i know what you mean.
in our lives, well, i speak for myself.. i have had such good memories of my childhood, adolescence, adulthood..
I have also some very bitter and dark memories of byone years which, strangely, i do not want to forget.
the men in my life --- not many. I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. This is, of course,not to say that I am fatalistic.
So, my past relationships will be just that -- in the past.
thank you, flaminglambo,for the insightful view, with that touch of poignance...somewhere there.
My two sens worth...
if a mistake is done because of bad judgement...it is called a mistake. Twice ...the same bad judgemental mistake... still excused for is is still a mistake... And if the same mistake is done for the same reason the 3rd. time... forget it IT IS YOUR WAY oF LIFE a habit... living a life of Mistakes...your very existence here is a mistake !
Gong Xi Fa Cai to all!
No offence to anyone in particular...Cheers and Godbless !
shanghaistephen,
i hate to think that i have made the same mistakes over and over.
sometimes one makesthe same mistake because one is defined by one's upbringing, culture,tradition. did you know people often choose the same kind of partner? for instance, say you marry a woman, then divorce her. chances are that if you want to remarry, you will choose a woman with many similarities as your first wife.
it is yr pysche.
anyway, thanks for your 2 cents worth.
and Gong Xi Fa Cai to you!
hi witch's broo,
I do the same thing too, most of the time I will try to comprehend why my life has ended up this way and not another way, what happened to the ex, is he happily married?? Wishing he was worse off (hehehe!)...I guess as humans we tend to do that..I personally feel it is good to reminisce and learn from the mistakes made and done. But just dont dwell on it too much though...BTW have a good loong weekend!
nour,
what a delightful surprise.
thank you for dropping by and your comments.
my ex? married but don't know whether he is happy....ooh... i have wished him well.
take care,nour and hope you have a good holiday too.
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