ASSERTIVE WOMEN AND WHAT SCARE MEN

In my previous relationship, my ex-husband fell in love with me not just for my looks (whatever that was), my intelligence (yeah, yeah, whatever...) but also for my personality (whatever that was).
I remember he said he liked my S T R O N G personality, my sense of independence, my self-reliance.
He thought I was real smart.
I thought I was normal smart.
I was, of course, all that and everything he wanted in a woman.
But, hey, he met me when I was all of 22 -- had graduated, started work and about to go abroad for graduate studies.
Of course, this is usually the case --- he became tired of those very "qualities" he fell for earlier in our relationship.
I suppose, the novelty just died.
Men just don't like assertive women. Or qualities they perceive to be assertiveness.
Sometimes, they can't tell the difference between assertiveness and arrogance in women.
For an interesting read, check this out.
And perhaps, you'd want to know the 15 things that scare a man. It's here. Meow.

SOUL MAN OR SOUL MATE

Is the man you're marrying your soul mate?
If he is, does that mean you'd have a good marriage, one that lasts and lasts, forever and ever?
I've always thought that if I'd want to marry someone, he's got to be my soul mate because we'd understand each other so well that we would get everything right most times.
He'd know what would hurt me and I'd know what would hurt him.
That would be a damn good foundation for a marriage.
But, wait.... can someone tell me what a soul mate is? My own definition is that of someone who knows my soul, someone I feel so connected to.......
Read more about soulmates. Perhaps you will find your definition somewhere there. Meow.

FOR JUST A MOMENT

For just a moment
I’m sure I saw
a flicker of light ahead.

Perhaps it was your smile.
Though past now,
remembered,
in my heart
like the small sound of
a butterfly passing by.

No night
is so dark
that can not be brightened
with memories of you.

Raindrops carry along
your blessings from heaven
to wash away my tears

by Brenda Penepent

FOR WOMEN

Today, we, women of the world, are celebrating the International Women's Day!
Friends, let me quote Virginia Woolf:

"If women had no existence save in the fiction written by men, one would imagine her a person of the utmost importance; very various; heroic and mean; splendid and sordid; infinitely beautiful and hideous in the extreme; as great as a man, some think even greater."

TRYING

God Almighty,
Give me the strength
To walk away
Show me the path
To walk away
Help
Unshackle
Me
It is
Time

I WAS ON AIR!

I was driving my car this morning with Simon and Caroline of Light Fm on the radio. I like them. I think they are unpretentious, sensible, engaging and smart.
They speak well without that affected accent.
Just as I had always liked Richard and Shaz of MixFM. Sob sob... they're no longer on the morning show. I miss them.
Anyway, I was listening to Simon and Caroline's chat and banter, on the subject of going on holiday alone. You know, solo.
Caroline (I think she must be a card-carrying member of a neo-feminist militant group) as always, had her own view of why she thought that there was absolutely nothing wrong with anyone going on holiday alone without their partner or spouse.
Simon, the nice family man that he is, said for him holidays should be spent with one's family. This guy practises what he preaches. There's nothing like a good holiday with your wife and kids around you, he said.
Aah, Simon. I love you. A man after my own heart.
Then, since they had their own differing views, Simon decided to open the subject to listeners' discussion.
Now, there had been many a time I wanted to dial 03-95433333 to give my 2 cents worth on a subject they were on.
Like the other day, on using handphones while driving. I think so many people missed the point. One guy, though articulate, missed the point on why motorists are an incorrigible lot and have no qualms in using handphones when they know it is - 1. hazardous on the road, and 2. illegal to do so.
Oh, he went on about handphones being an extension of people's arms because they are no longer an accessory but tools on which we have become so dependent and accustomed to.
Yada yada yada.
Bollocks! I wanted to just call and say : Hey, mister. Use the handsfree-lah. And people use their handphone while driving because they know they can get away with it. That simple. If our enforcement of traffic regulations was strict, uncompromising, efficient and effective, no one would dare use their handphone while driving.
Simon was spot on when he quite kindly told a lady who complained that she stopped using handsfree sets because they are useless. The ones she had bought always lasted a short while and damaged after that. She had bought so many already.
"Buy original-lah", Simon quipped.
Hell YES! That will solve your problem, lady.
I am so digressing here.
On the solo holiday issue -- I pulled over by the road and searched for the number in my phone. Hahaha.... yes, I have the number set in my Ericsson.
I turned off the radio. I think you're supposed to do that, yes?
At first, it was busy. Of course, I didn't think I could be lucky.
Tried again, just for the heck of it. It rang and WHOA! Simon was on the other line. I gave my name. I could hear Caroline prodding me for a response to her question.
So I said -- no no, I don't agree with either moi or mon amour going for a solo holiday.
What for? We both travel -- separately -- in the course of our work. And it may be work, but we had often found ourselves touring the country we were in, on our own or with fellow participants. There had been times we went around foreign cities and towns on our own.
And many a time, I would wish that mon amour was with me. I believe he had felt such too.
I am not saying there is anything wrong but I wouldn't want mon amour to go alone.
Then Caroline said it is a question of trust. Yeah yeah. Trust, whatever.
But I know men, I remarked. And both laughed. Simon said, not true-lah, because he is a man,
You see, all this said with time constraint because it was a minute before 8am. I was the last caller.
But what I could not say was this -- to Simon, I wanted to tell him -- My point exactly. He believes in holidaying with his family, right? Now, the day he tells his wife that he'd want to go holiday alone, she should be suspicious. I am sorry but I would be pretty suspicious because it isn't like him to want that -- unless, unless......
The day I tell Antonio that I want to go on holiday without him is the day, he had better be worried because I am telling him that I need to get away from him. Vice versa, I am sure.
Heck, years ago, without a man, I'd not think twice about going hitchhiking to South America or Europe. Or Tibet or Nepal.
Now, why would I want to do all that if I had a man I love with whom I could share glorious moments? Why would I want to go anywhere without him.
You know. I love my own company. I love being alone sometimes. But enjoying sights and sounds alone? Hmmm., no.
And to Caroline, I wanted to say this: Caroline, there is nothing wrong in going for holidays alone. To each her own, I always say. But, if you were my friend, the only time I'd advise you to take a break and go somewhere alone-- to Bali, Sardinia, Spain, Greece or wherever there's sun, sea and loads of hunky men -- is when you had come to tell me that you're going through a bad break-up or divorce.
That you needed to be alone.
And that goes for Simon too. Meow.

CHANGING SPOTS?

I can honestly say that the difference between Antonio and I is that I would never have to lie. I have never lied to him and never will.
I can't say the same for him. And he knows it.
Can a leopard change its spots? Meow.