10 Ways To Get Lucky At Love

Well, I am not one to rest on my laurel and let love takes its course. Just in case, you know what I mean...so just in case, I read stuff. I stumbled on this one. It has tips from psychotherapist/romance coach and author, Kathryn Lord, for those of you who are looking for that elusive mate.

According to the little write-up on her, Kathryn met her now husband Drew online. Out of the dating world for years, she conquered her fears, found her perfect mate and built a solid relationship.
She has written "Find A Sweetheart Soon! Your Love Trip Planner for Women."
Kathryn has been helping singles and couples for more than 25 years. She is on the web at Find-a-Sweetheart.com.

Just for fun, here they are:

1. Know what you want. Your looks change and fade, character does not. While a certain amount of "chemistry" is nice, don't rely solely on lust. What qualities are you looking for in a mate?
   
2. Get clear about what you don't want. Knowing what you really can't tolerate in a partner is important. Make a list of your "don't wants" and then cut it down to the 10 most important. Any more than that and you'll be too picky.
3. Live your life. Once you know clearly what you want (and don't want) in a relationship, shift your focus to living your life. You'll find that you start noticing those who might fit, and passing by those who don't.
4. See the big picture. Don't try so hard that you miss the obvious. If you are great at focusing, step back now and then and look at the big picture. Work on having a playful, whimsical attitude towards life.
5. Get out of the house . Cultivate opportunities to expand your social circle and meet
   new people. Vary your routine
6. Open your eyes and your attitude. Lucky people notice, create and maximize chance opportunities. Chat with other shoppers while you are waiting in line. Be ready with a "calling card" -- a personal business-type card with basic contact information.
7. Get curious. Don't content yourself with the obvious. Ask questions. Wonder why. Find answers.
8. Try something new. The best way to have things stay the same is to never do anything different. Vary your daily routine, just to keep yourself awake. Shake yourself up and notice what happens. Keep yourself open to chance opportunities, and then take advantage of them.
9. Expect good luck. Monitor your self-talk for negative messages that interfere with luck. Replace the negative thoughts with positives. Surround yourself with examples of lucky people.
10. Learn from bad luck. Take steps to prevent more bad luck from what you have learned, then let the "bad" go. Don't dwell on or rehash the bad experience. Look for the positive elements.

Of course, some of it is pure common sense while some of the common sense, I am sure, we somehow have overlooked or ignored. Perhaps it is just so common sense.
Some of it, I think is not so practical or pretty tacky. Or just so over-stated.

This is just for fun, for when you have nothing better to read. I am sure some of you are already an expert in the art of love and staying in love.

Life WIthout Mummy

What were you doing on August 31 1997, at the time Princess Diana died?
I know it was a weekend and I was at work.
Then, Antonio called to inform me of Diana's accident.
I remember I had also heard the news and was hoping the Princess of Wales would survive the accident.
She didn't. She succumbed to her injuries, and the whole world mourned her death.
I remember watching the entire programme devoted to her funeral.
It was surreal, I couldn't believe that she had died. Princess Diana had died.
I felt I knew her. She was larger than life.
She is still being talked about till today, nearly 10 years after her death.
Let me tell you, I took sides. You can tell me a lot of things about her, but I was vehemently on her side.
Sorry, Charlie, but it was difficult to see what it was that was troubling you.
So, I will not go into detail.
I caught this story about Diana's youngest child, Prince Harry who was reminiscing about his mom in an interview with NBC, a US television station.
He and his brother, Prince William reflected on their mom, her death, life without her and how much they miss her.
Harry, 22, says he will "never stop wondering" about her’s death and that he still feels her presence till today.
Twenty-four-year-old William says of her death: "There is not a day goes by that I don't think about it."
Princess Diana met her tragic death in the Pont de L'Ama tunnel in Paris on August 31 1997 when the limousine she was crashed with paparazzi in hot pursuit.
At that time, she was romantically linked to Egyptian Dodi Al-Fayed who was the son of Mohamed Al-Fayed, owner of Harrods.
Of course, later on, conspiracy theories abound.

To read the story, Click here.

(Photo is of Harry in his mother's arms, taken in 1988.)

Ageing Isn't So Bad

Yeah, and I want to believe it. I haven't got a choice, have I?
But guess what? Antonio's namesake -Antonio Banderas the actor, the hunk - says it is wrong to see ageing as such a bad thing.

He says that ever since he and his wife, Melanie, have been together, she hasn’t had surgery.

But I remember reading somewhere that Melanie had a nip here and a tuck there. Must have read it in a gossipy tabloid.
Like who should I be believing, an unnamed source in a trashy supermarket tabloid or Antonio Banderas, the husband?

Antonio says wrinkles to him "are like medals."
He further says: "And I think getting old is great. I can’t read at night now without my glasses and I love them because I think they give me a certain dignified look.
I read somewhere that the sixties are the new forties. I’m really hoping that’s true."

Oh mercy me... my kind of man. A man after my own heart.

Yep. He said all that. Can you believe it?

(You can read it all here.)

I hardly think about ageing in the aesthetic sense, in that it means growing wrinkly and craggy. I know that I'll get wrinkly and craggy. All of us will, no matter how much cream we apply on our face and neck every night of everyday.
And I am no believer in plastic surgery or botox. Heaven forbids!

So, I will get all wrinkly.

Still, I'd want to grow old gracefully and how I am going to achieve that is through the state of my mind. Whether I am able to do that remains for me to see.

What I do think a lot more about are loneliness in old age and our financial stability in our twilight years. I think about illness, mortality and death.

But, there are times that I do think about ageing in the beauty and physical sense as it is related to how we would be if all that is gone in us.

For instance, will Antonio leave me for someone younger (or whatever) when he finds me no longer attractive. Will I not then be alone, and lonely?

Who will be my my side when I am older? Then I get even sadder. What if he goes before me?

Oh, I hate to be drawn into thinking about these things. So morbid.

Life can be cruel, I know. I see too many unhappy things around me. But, we cannot allow ourselves to be overwhelmed by the hopelessness in the world we live in.
I see so much positiveness too. Love and joy. Happiness. Bliss.

Wrinkles are like medals. I like that. I hope I see Antonio's wrinkles as medals, for a start. And if it's true that the 60s are the new 40s, who cares about wrinkles! Just bring on the 60s. I am so ready!

Togetherness

"We are told that people stay in love because of chemistry, or because they remain intrigued with each other, because of many kindness, because of luck. But part of it has got to be forgiveness and gratefulness" -- Ellen Goodman.

Just a Flicker. Where's the Fire?

Sometimes I think our love is dead. No fire in our belly. Just a flicker in our hearts.
I remember those early days when we were so in love. When he was in love with me, and I with him.
He used to tell me that ours would be the greatest love story ever. I used to believe it too.
Does time make a relationship stronger or allow it to wane?
You could tell when a man changes. He gets easily distracted. He begins to tell little fibs, and says them with flair.
He begins to turn very private. He has women friends whom you do not know, you have never met, and you possibly never will. He'll be sure to keep them away from you.
Then he begins to break his promises. With ease.
There was a time I thought Antonio was the best-est of them all. Because he showed to me that he was.
I am trying to find out where we have gone wrong. Where I have gone wrong.
Sometimes I let my fertile imagination run wild. I hate myself for that.
Antonio tries, of course to reassure me.
Yeah, yeah. He says he still loves me. And very much too.
Sometimes I think I am paranoid. Other times I am convinced he is a bastard.
It was not too long ago that we had so much to talk about.
These days, when we are sitting together, he'd be playing with his little gizmo, smsing and I am always thinking he is responding to smeses from that woman he had more than an interest in back in 2004/05. Paranoia? Perhaps.
But, well, once bitten....
While he plays with his little gizmo they call a mobile phone, I'd be reading the newspapers or something. We'd talk, yeah, but never like before.
There are things I cannot ask him about. He'd just switch off.
I know I am painting such a bad picture of Antonio. And that's not fair.
Perhaps I am a little down tonight. Or rather, this morning.
Antonio and I have friends who seem to be in unhappy relationships/marriages. Sometimes we see them cheat on their partners.
He'd tell me that there are men and there are men. Loosely translated it means that he aint like that, baby.
How I, like a ninny, believed him.
Oh well. We all can be stupid sometimes.
But you gotta learn not to be. I wish it was that easy to do.

Why and Why?

Can we ask God to help us stop loving someone because loving him brings more pain and hurt, because he loves you less now, because he is not the person you fell in love with, because he lies, because he has been unfaithful and because he has been breaking promises he made to you?
Why can't you cease to love someone when he loves you less than you love him?
Do I sound pathetic?
I wish emotions are something we can control.
Why can't we love with our head and not our heart? A little bit of both, maybe. Perhaps, when the heart cannot see the right in a situation, the head can take over.
Do you not wish sometimes that, with a snap of your fingers, you can decide to leave the supposed love of your life?
Do you not wish that you had made that decision 10 years ago when you met him and when he wooed you? Because you did not believe the "stories"you heard about him.
Do you not wish that you had trusted your instinct instead of falling so madly in love with him only to realise about 6 years later that you were really mad for falling in love because he turned out to be such a lying scum?
Why does love make women asinine and brainless?

Poisonous Greens

Shoot! We can't trust our farmers no more.
This is so not good.
I love veges. I load my plate with lots of 'em. I love the rainbow colours of vegetables.
I love spinach, mustard greens, kai lan, beans, cabbages....and salads -- the Mat Salleh or Malay variety. Just love them.
And now this?
I wash my greens. But if they've been tainted with poison or toxic chemicals, washing them won't guarantee that the washed greens are free of poison.
You know what is the problem? Enforcement and checks.
We are so not in this game.
Mad traffic, congested roads, speedhogs, landslides, floods, horrid public toilets, crumbling (almost) buildings.....
And yes HORRID taxi drivers/cabbies.
Half of our government officers have been overseas on holiday or work. Have they not learnt anything from their stint overseas, their holiday abroad?
God help us! For we cannot help ourselves. Meow!