Breaking Up With Dignity

(By Christian Adi, The Jakarta Globe)

In a relationship, when a women loses attraction to her committed partner and is attracted to someone else, while comparing you with the other guy on how good he is in every way you’re not, then it’s time for you to leave her better than you found her.

These are the top three reasons why you should leave her better than you found her:

1. You’ll come off trying too hard.

If you try to be the person that she wanted, it won’t work because she already knows you and isn’t attracted to you anymore, so if you suddenly change she might laugh at you because it may be unnatural for her. Therefore, she will less likely appreciate you. Let’s face the fact that perhaps the guy that she likes right now can fill the unsatisfied part in your relationship. Plus, the next candidate might have more experience and potential than you in her eyes.

2. It’s damaging for your character.

First, you don’t want someone to compare you every time or even sometimes, especially to another guy who is better in her eyes. In fact, the stupidest thing that you can do is to try catch up with this guy’s experience whilst your core competencies may not be at his level (business experience, local knowledge, and how to treat women).

3. You will have no value in her eyes and may come off as a needy loser with mental problems if you’re still yearning for her after the break up phase.

Even though we have already fallen for her, clearly knowing that she drives us crazy, we still try everything we can to reconnect. Sadly, sometimes the way she acts and talks to you may be asking for a bitch slap because one of us needs to learn to shut up. But nonetheless, at this point you know that she will never feel wrong, and if she feels guilty about herself, then she’ll run away or feel shame because the faith has been broken. There won’t be any mutual trust anymore, and the next great line you will hear from her may well be “If you love someone, you gotta let go.”