My problem with Antonio is our definition of what infidelity is.
To him, being unfaithful is if the partner sleeps with another person/persons, or have a any form of physical relationship with another person/persons.
In his book, there is no such thing as an emotional relationship without a physical relationship. But a physical relationship can exist without an emotional one.
In my book, anything goes.
In my book, being unfaithful is having ANY KIND of relationship with another person/persons, be it physical or emotional or both.
To Antonio, going for coffee/latte or meeting up for dinner with a woman is harmless and "don't mean a damn thing".
Sms-ing, emailing, facebooking with other females does not constitute infidelity, even though those messages carry intimate tones. And to females unknown to me.
It does not mean that he does not love me, he avers. The heart is strong for me. Yeah, yeah. It's not like he was going to take anyone to bed, you see.
To me....it always starts somewhere -- an innocent coffee, lunch or dinner. An innocent car-ride, an innocent anything.
It always starts with something so innocent and innocuous.
I have seen too many relationships start from that innocent something.
I suppose he thinks differently. He thinks he's like no other and cannot get easily tempted.
However, the trouble with Antonio is that while he believes that all this is innocent, he can be quite a teaser, a flirt.
Does he realize that he is, I wonder.
Would you call other women "baby" or "babe"? "Luv", I can understand.
So, I find that sometimes Antonio's intimacy is not exclusive to me. That bothers me.
Because I am not like that.
I don't know whether I have such high expectations from a man who is incapable of understanding my commitment and conviction.
He thinks that what is important is that he loves me -- so don't doubt him.
Fair enough, you think?
I think not.....
*****sorry for the long absence from blogging. I have been away.....
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13 comments:
tehsin,
aaah...a woman after my own heart..
we think alike...as most women are wont to do.
it's a woman thing, to have strong beliefs..
you have strong views too. and the way you express yourself leaves me, blushing..and i'm not a shy person.
thanks, tehsin for visiting.
Dear Sister,
Ah, I have missed you in your absence. I hope you had a nice time being away.
You know, the subject of man and their understanding towards fidelity is still, by and large, rocket science to me.
One day, I was late for a meeting at the local bank. I ran in my 3-inches stilettos, my face slightly better than usual since I bothered putting on make up before I went.
Met this client, En. N, in the elevator. Didn't notice him at first. Then I heard a "tsking" away.
N: Nak gi mana nih
Me: Oh, Encik N, hai, nak gi meeting dah lambat sangat nih...
N: Huuiiih, kalau I lah nak meeting dengan yang lawa macam nih, tiga hari pun I tunggu!
*uwekkkkk*
Please take note that N has 3 wives and 10 children when the conversation took place.
Told you I don't understand.
tehsin,
you have just made a confession, and this tells me that you have been deeply betrayed by a man -- presumably the love and lust of your life.
no woman can hate a man/men unless she's been hurt, bruised or/and wounded.
and, YES...you can make 'em blush too!
i've seen your comments on the blog of my very favourite blogger, Rocky -- ooh making me drool here, hope antonio doesn't see this. but aaah...the guy's taken and so in lurvve :( - and oh my oh my....don't your remarks sting to high heaven when you're angry over issues...
of course, we all want them (men). and YES, let's just go kill them and eat them. and i can tell you where to start. :-D.
so...why do you hate men so?
elviza,
girl, i don't blame that very married Mr N for having a hard-on in the elevator, in your presence.
and really, it's no rocket science. you have just elucidated the situation.
men are simply f**kers!
witch,
didn't someone say that men are from mars and women from venus ---or vice versa?
there you go.
a man thinks nothing of screwing a woman they hardly know because it's just sex. that's infidelity but at a different level, and one easily forgotten.
men subscribe to a motto -- what my woman doesn't know won't hurt her!
and they're quite happy with that.
so yes-lah....what we define as infidelity in our book is sumthing else in theirs!
cheers. witch!
Hi Witchy B,
Men will always be men la. Some like to flirt seriously. Some just like to flirt and if the woman respond, they run away. If you feel strongly for your man, just do what you need to do it it means wacking him haha.
tehsin,
thing is, i don't know rocky, nor his private life.
but i know a lot of people who know him.
i won't discuss him here. not fair.
and i hear from most people - men and women -- who know him that he's wonderful...always willing to lend a helping hand.
and the things the women say about him....ask elviza...she fell in love with him the moment she met him. (she blogged about it)
But I hear rocky's cool about it.
i wonder sometimes, how he deals with all this adulation from females..i know, my niece and her classmates are just so crazy about him, sends him poems, facebook gifts, emails, smses and all..and he is so sweet, he takes the time to respond...i think they even have t-shirts with his samurai profile on them.
aah...kids...
hey, didn't he help you start your blog...i read it in your blog.
anyway..while i blog about "men are liars" blah blah blah...i also believe that everyone has their own little story, their own little problem...not for us to judge..
i wouldn't want to say anything about him. he's a decent fellow, i was told and i am so dying to meet him.
but yes...i am told that he is taken and so in lurrve...(yikes...saying this here maybe a mistake because i don't think it's something many people know).
Rocky, i know you don't read my blog but if you do, you have the right to deny everything.
after all, i am a blogger...:-)
Yeah,
You are right. Who am i to judge anyone. He IS a sweet guy. Have met him. Just difficult to faham how some sweet guys (not him) can break hearts.
I just dont understand men lah!
my dear tehsin,
i'm the very very last person to be dishing out advice...we are not supposed to understand God's enigmatic creatures. we must not even attempt to. it's better that way.
so...take care and don;t bother even beginning to understand men...
and you've met the man himself! lucky you!
one blogger has promised to introduce us but i am so jittery and nervous about meeting him. come on, will you just look at the guy!
i have practiced my speech or whatever it is i will utter upon meeting him...
take care!
Girls, girls.....heavy stuff no? Do your thing I say....read this somewhere:
Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN?
MENtal illness
MENstrual cramps
MENtal breakdown
MENopause
GUYnecologist
AND ..
When we have REAL trouble, it's a
HISterectomy.
hello there zorro,
now...that's real!
thanks for visiting, zorro. and thank God, you're still around....(you know the rumours that they have a list and you're on it!)
witch,
i still dont understand men's affectionate name-calling.
this guy (i'm in love with)started to call me Dear since late last year, then it gradually went to Sweetheart.
Well, as for 'Dear', my ever doubting mind always think that he calls all the women he knows that. But 'sweetheart'? I'm not so sure.
But he can also use both 'Sweetheart' and 'Babe' in one sms he sent me. 'Babe', in my comprehension, is something more general.
I agree with Elviza, after 13 years in the dating scene, it's still rocket science to me.
*sighhhhhhhhhh
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