Goodbye Is So Damn Hard To Say!

It is. Because I have tried to say that to Antonio whenever I think that it is pointless to go on with me doubting his commitment to our relationship.

Then, I think of how much he really does love me.

Those flirtatious messages he sends to those babes or broads are just that -- flirtatious messages.
I must tell you that he NEVER ever flirts with anyone in my presence. I know, I know....the quieter they are, the more dangerous....

The thing is there is no doubt at all that he flirts because I know -- with proof. But whether, knowing that he is an unrepentant and compulsive flirt (with some women I know personally --damn him!), I'd want to remain in our relationship.

I hate myself for realising this side of Antonio only the last couple of years. How could I believe him so when there were signs already.

There was a time, I was told by a close friend that Antonio pulled her to sit beside him during a performance by a singer at a club.

She told me quite casually, but in detail. At that time my relationship with Antonio was not high-profile yet.

When I asked him about it, he took pains to convince me that it ncver happened that way, that this friend of mine, was really imagining it all or that she she simply fibbing. Well, my friend has a habit of exaggerating things.

So, I believed him.

Yet, on another occasion, someone told me about how this PR girl who "was sitting so close to Antonio at the club that she was "almost sitting on his lap"!!!!! I was so funimg inside and I asked him and, yes, you've guessed it. Antonio vehemently denied it and accused this person of really dramatizing the scenario.
And, of course, it didn't help that this person was also prone to a lot of exaggeration.

Thing is, Antonio and I have a fantastic relationship. But, I happened to havbe found out about his shenanigans behind my back. His little up-to-no-good habit of flirting with females. Not all, though.

I get the feeling that Antonio can't help flirting.

He'd flirt in his first line in a message to whoever the girl maybe. I am convinced he is a pathaological flirt. He doesn't arrange to meet up with guys, If he does, then it's a simple "see you at ****".

But with women, it's something like "hey, let me share cofffee with you sometime."

A message between him and a babe he'd just met would be:

Babe: Hi, Antonio, nice to see you last night.

Antonio: Mmmm, it was nicer for me to see you. Whatcha doing? Do you always wear jeans?

Babe: Yeah, why?

Antonio: Would love to see what's inside them. Whatcha doing?

Babe: Oh...having coffee.

Antonio: Mmmm, must be nice having your coffee with you.

Now, this is about the mildest I can give as an example. But, you get the drift.

Is it harmless?

I don't know. If a guy I've just met send me that kind of messages, I'd think he's one horny bastard.

Am I a prude?

I digress.

It is so damn hard to say goodbye.

A Leopard Never Changes Its Spots

Neither does a randy dog.

The thing about proverbs is that they were coined for a reason -- or several good reasons.

Take this one about a leopard, for instance. I so want to challenge it but, hell, it is oh-so-true. Statistically speaking.

Never mind about my own experience. Take my friend, Sofia and her long-term relationship.

She has been involved with this son-of-B for more than a decade. I have told her to leave him. But she won't because -- well, she loves him and he loves her.

Now, before I mislead you. Let me be clear. Let's call her man, Rafael. Without a doubt, he loves her. Adores her.

He had quite a reputation before they got together and went rock-steady.

She believed and still does and that's because he convinced her -- that he is BASICALLY faithful to her and has been all these years.

Like me, she "caught" Rafael flirting - in every sense of the word -- in emails/smses/facebook -- with women, some of whom are known to her.

How did she know? Well, she said it's a small world. She was told by a young woman who did not know that Rafael was her man, that he's "gatal". His "messages" to her were always laced with flirtatious undertones. More like overtones. Very over the tone.

Sofia can be funny when she's angry.

How was he "gatal", I asked.

Oh, he's always sending signals like saying she's got sexy legs and let's have coffee at BSC blah blah blah. You'd think that he's footloose and fancy-free.

Another instance was when a mutual friend told Rafael in an email that she missed "you guys" at such-and-such a place as she had not been there in a long while, his reply was -- "you guys? why not just 'you'?". "You" is Rafael. If you know what I mean.

Hmmm....very familiar trick.

This mutual friend was wondering whether Sofia was still with Rafael, seeing that he's kinda giving her the come-on. She asked Sofia and told her why. In fact showed Sofia the message.

Sofia said that that was Rafael's way of being cute and sweet to friends. Inside, she was seething.

I told Sofia not to make a habit of believing people.

"But I saw the message," she retorted.

Anyway, she hissed, that's not the point. He flirts. He is "gatal".

Deep down, I wondered, whether she had known that all along.

Sofia said she never does these things that he is so prone to enjoy doing. She never flirts.

Thre's more.

He has called a certain woman, "sexy girl".

Another instance, he had made arrangements to "meet" an American friend.

Sofia did ask him about this American friend's visit. Whether he was in touch with her. He denied. Played dumb and was so cool about it.

Sofia knew about it because this American friend had also been emailing her and told her about Rafael's "offer to meet up".

So, why did he have to lie?

I told Sofia because a leopard never changes its spots.

"Then he is a liar. He swears he's never done all that. But behind me, he's flirting like a randy dog," she wept.

That's okay, Sofia. That randy dog loves you. And, most importantly, you love that randy dog.

But, if you find it in yourself, the strength to leave him -- DO IT!

Yeah, yeah...I'm a fine one to be preaching!

About Men.....

I hardly go out evenings.

But last evening, I accompanied Antonio to a wedding -- of a friend's son.

It was at the Sheraton Subang. It's been quite some time since I've been there. I live on the other side of the Klang Valley so the Subang area is not an area I frequent. In fact, it is an area I avoid.
Never had a good traveling experience there.

So, it was with a heavy heart that I agreed to accompany Antonio to the wedding reception.

On the way to Subang, Antonio gave a run-down on this friend of his. I kinda know of the guy, heard of him but, oddly enough, had never met him. After all, I know most of Antonio's friends.

This father of the groom was a journalist who got rich for being a political nominee of someone back in the mid 80s.

He left the country to stay in the UK after a certain political leader was sacked and jailed.

Antonio was being ever so kind when talking about this guy but from what I gathered, this guy is no better than a political prostitute.

But, hey...I'm just a witch.

The groom is an accountant working in London and the bride is a doctor practicing in the UK. They both met in the UK.

What I shall be talking about is the father of the bride himself.

When I arrived at the entrance of the ballroom, I thought the host of the evening had a very young wife. She looked like she was in her late 20s or early 30s.

He looked like he was -- old. Kinda old enough to be her dad.

Listening to his speech at the end of the evening, I found out that this was his second marriage. His first wife -- the mother of the groom -- died of cancer about two years ago.

He spoke about his re-marrying when dishing out advice to his son and newly-acquired daugher-in-law.

His first marriage was a love marriage. The second -- "through a broker", he remarked. I guess he meant it was an arranged marriage.

Now this father of the groom --- a northerner from Penang (like his political master) had everyone in stitches. Including moi. Antonio was so beside himself that he had to take sips of the syrup drink. Aaah....for that cold cold Heinneken!

The lady beside me had to ask this question -- why do men never hesitate to get a replacement after their wife dies?

I smiled. I replied -- "you know....some don't even wait for their wives to die."

And Antonio who was listening, did not know where to look. He attempted a smile which turned into a lop-sided grin.

And the lady in question, roared with laughter and remarked: "Hahaa....men!"

Now, that's what I call a great sense of humour.