Antonio was different from ALL the men I know or had ever known. Today, I think that I must be one dumb woman.
Ok. I am no nuclear scientist. But let me tell you I am not dumb.
That said, I think that anyone in love can be rendered, or can be reduced to becoming, completely trusting. Read: idiotic, stupid or/and DUMB.
Your brain stops working and therefore, thinking. It must be that because how could you miss "the little things"?
Love comes with trust. Or should I now be asking, love comes with trust?
I know now that that is a complete fallacy.
But how could it be? I believe in that. I practise that.
My dear Witchypoo (I am talking to myself here), this is the real, material world where most times, the line between love and lust is blurred or there is none at all.
So, that is why I am finally discovering the liar in my man.
It is not that he is a pathological liar... but wait a minute, he is. Because men are pathological liars. And he lied, pathologically.
Oh man! What am I saying?
This wonderful man I have loved so deeply is a pathological liar?
Damn. So what do I do? Get him out of my life?
Ok ok... let's not get out of control here. Let's be rational.
We all tell little white lies. But they are safe lies that dont get no one in trouble or dont hurt nobody.
It is not something we do as a practice.
Now, I don't just look, I see. I don't just hear, I listen.
And I have a good brain. I can assess things and rarely make bad judgement(s) about people and situations.
Antonio treats me well. God! Sounds like, "my boss treats me well", doesn't it?
He has to and must treat me well. I am his love,his life, his heart and soul. So, what's the big deal?
Ok,ok, ok. Antonio loves me very much. I know that. Er, except that he lies about stuff.
If I am ok with that, then I must be ok with being with him.
Warts and all. Oh well. Still thinking. Still ruminating. Still confused. Meow.
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6 comments:
Dear broo,
Read your postings with a guilt smirk on my face.. heh...heh!!
Maybe change everywhere you have written 'love' to 'lust' and then you won't feel so bad or angry about the things you discover about Antonio.
Don't get me wrong... just trying to help !
Hi Broo,
Was blog hopping from Kak Teh's.
I know the feeling. After being married for more than 10 years, we wonder whether the man of the house is as nice as he seems.
I read this spouse-cheating checklist from www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/free/clues.htm and my man has "...a sudden desire to be helpful with the laundry..."
Hmmm...
shanghaistephen -- aah. but that would be deluding myself.
but thanks for the tip --- sigh... i suppose that's the best advice a man can give.
norainij -- isnt it just so tragic. and it didnt happen when you are younger and stronger. that's why, i think, some women really go for the physical modifications --- a tuck here, a tuck there, a nip here and a nip there.....
yeah, shanghaistephen is right... change it all to lust. and really, sometimes, cant always blame the men... women have to take the blame (sometimes)...
zewt,
no can do, man.
lust and lust aint never gonna work. not for me, anyway.
yep, i agree.. sometimes the woman's at fault too. but in my case, i dunno what could have possiby gone wrong.
Hi Witchy Lady,
To borrow the ever famous phrase ... been there done that. Guess that's why yours truly is still single! Yeah where men are concerned sometimes I too wonder if I have a sticker on my forehead that says "SUCKER". But at the same time I'm also so forgiving, maybe that's why I keep getting taken for a ride. Hmmm maybe I could hitch a ride on your broomstick while we go searching for that elusive male together.
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